Do you see hope, love and pure joy in the midst of distressing moments? I have many times over. 😊
Yesterday, I spent the bulk of the day at the hospital with my husband. He had an unexpected surgery due to a situation that occurred in a routine colonoscopy that required him to have surgery.
Weird things happen to many of us and we find ourselves in the hospital to get the surgery or treatment that we need.
Anyway, I witnessed a few incidents that made me smile and fill my heart with hope and joy.
Hospitals can be depressing and often produce anxiety for most of us. They are usually the last place that any of us wish to be.
On the way to the hospital I was sort of feeling like it was a pain in the butt to have to be going there, due to this weird situation that happened with my husband. Plus emotionally, I don’t do especially well in hospital settings due to painful memories that I have experienced.
I guess that you could say that I am somewhat of a people watcher when I am bored and in general, I find people’s behavior fascinating to watch in certain places. One of my favorite places to people watch is the airport because there is such a wide variety of people from all over.
Before my husband went to surgery and he told me to make sure that I ate something because I tend to skip eating sometimes.
After sitting for a while in the waiting area, I headed downstairs to the cafeteria.
I saw an elderly woman with her private caregiver. The caregiver treated this woman with so much compassion and respect that she made me smile. She truly brightened my long and dreary day.
Then being the caffeine junkie that I am I headed for PJ’s coffee shop to grab a latte.
I went over to a sitting area to read and savor my coffee. The woman next to me smiled and was telling me that she was waiting for her daughter to pick her up.
She went on to say that she had been practically living at the hospital due to several serious medical issues. She was a nice lady with a great sense of humor.
The woman dropped her water bottle. It did have a top on it but it rolled out into the middle of this waiting room.
She was about to get up to get it and a young man who had tons of ink all over his legs and arms jumped up to get it for her. She smiled and said thanks. It’s warm here so he was in shorts and a short sleeve shirt.
I quietly said to her, “This is why I never judge a book by its cover.” I truly don’t care how many tattoos people have. This young man made me smile too.
When I headed back to the waiting room I sat down and in front of me were two large ottomans. Across from me there was a cute young couple who had their feet propped up on one ottoman.
I thought, hey that looks good. I am going to pull the other ottoman over by me and prop my feet up! My word, the thing weighed a ton, so I couldn’t budge it.
The young man jumped up and pushed the ottoman over to me and asked if he had pushed it to the correct spot for me. I said, it’s perfect. Thanks!
A moment later a sweet older woman came walking over to us with a gorgeous golden retriever that was a hospital therapy dog.
Everyone played with the dog. His name was Roux. She had another dog at home named Gumbo. This woman had been doing this with her therapy dogs for 7 years. She made me smile too!
I realize that there are days where everything seems to go wrong but there are also days when things are pretty cool, even if we are in a hospital.
I bet that most of you have found joy in unexpected places too. Going to the hospital isn’t like a day at the beach or a walk in the park but when we encounter kindness it does lift our spirits.
I came to the conclusion years ago that you get what you give.
If you walk around with a grumble and a frown on your face people will either leave you alone or not show the kindness that you were given.
The elderly woman with the caregiver,... I bet you smiled at them.
You sat down to have a cup of coffee,... you could have wanted to have some peace and quiet but you took the time to talk to a woman that has spent a bit of time in the hospital and maybe was looking to chat a bit before her daughter picked her up. And just think her daughter might be someone on this site complaining about mom for some reason. You might have made this woman's day!
The young man with the ink... you also never know what he is going through himself. Or he might have been waiting for his mom, dad, wife...? And I bet you smiled at him and may have spoken nicely to him. A thank you from a stranger when some might think you look scary.
And your day goes on. A smile does a lot, a smile says a lot.
Feelings can be like a garden
Kindness multiplies.
So does evil.
What do you want to cultivate?
It was at the beginning of my caregiving journey with my husband. We were traveling, it was growing dark, and the weather became unexpectedly stormy. We decided to stop at the only motel around, and it was the worst one I've ever been in. TV didn't work, A/C would only blow on high, heater didn't turn on, and outside temperature was dropping.
I showered in the grubby bathroom, thinking "I'm not going to complain, this is the least of my worries considering my DH's recent diagnosis," etc. etc etc. And at least we had a safe place to stay overnight. So I got in bed and wrapped myself into a warm little ball under the sheet and thin blanket so I could go to sleep, which he already was.
Then he woke up, but I was almost asleep and didn't open my eyes. I felt him taking his half of the blanket and wrapping it around me so I wouldn't be cold. He tucked it in ever so gently all around so he wouldn't wake me up.
I felt so loved. This is why I married this wonderful man!
I have been so stressed during my entire ordeal with my mom, and there has been no break from it. Yet I’ve experienced so much kindness from strangers who don’t possibly know my story. Maybe it’s because my own fatigue has softened me and made me more aware of other people’s battles, and am acknowledging and appreciating them. They are responding to me, and they in turn are feeding my soul.
During my first weeks getting my mom settled into AL, I helped some volunteers run a game night at the facility, primarily with the dual goals of getting to know people and getting my mom involved. The same residents I saw during the day, sitting silently hunched over with lifeless eyes, were suddenly engaged and stunningly sharp and focused. I was so intrigued by this (and so disappointed by how few activities like this there actually were), I immediately offered to run a few classes of my own. I know this seemed absurd to some at the time, because I was struggling to manage so much already, and taking on one more commitment didn’t seem wise. I just knew I had to do it, and never questioned myself. I would find the time. I started an am craft class and an afternoon exercise class one Saturday, as I noticed no activities were scheduled on weekends. Very few residents out of the total population actually partake, but they show up every week, some waiting at the door for me when I arrive, and most of them lingering after class to chat. Periodically we will laugh out loud, and it nearly makes my heart explode. Seeing them smile is a gift I can’t describe. I got in the car after my 3rd or 4th week, and as I drove home I suddenly felt a wave come over me of what I can only describe as pure joy, like I haven’t felt in ages. I continue to feel this week after week.
I started these classes with the express purpose of improving their lives in some small way. I had no idea how much it would improve mine.
I'm glad everything went well, and that you took the time to enjoy those around you.
I like you am a glass half full person and am grateful that God has blessed me with a positive attitude and outlook on life. It makes such a difference on how we see and handle things good or bad.
We all have had or have things going on in our lives that we wish we didn't, but how we deal with those things makes all the difference in the world.
A positive attitude goes a long way, and can be the difference between a good day or a bad day. The choice is ours.
Thanks for sharing your uplifting experience. I'm hoping and praying that it will lift someone's spirit today, who really needs it.
God bless you.
I must be honest, I started out as a happy young child.
At times, I have had trauma in my life that caused me to doubt everything.
I think deep down I knew that I still had faith and that somehow I would find peace and joy again.
I was extremely blessed to have certain people in my life that built a strong foundation for me to fall back upon when things became shaky.
One of them was my grandmother. We were very close when I was growing up and all the way up until she died when I was in my twenties.
Grandma had heartache in her life but I never once saw her as a bitter or resentful woman. She lost her mom when she was quite young. She buried two children under the age of five and a daughter in her 40’s.
She died at age 85 just the way she prayed for, her heart just stopped, no suffering. We should all be so lucky! It killed her to see my grandfather suffer for so long. She prayed for a quick and easy death.
Grandma’s other two children, my mom and her brother lived to be 95 and 96 in spite of both of them having Parkinson’s disease!
She accepted people for who they were. She didn’t expect perfection, but she didn’t allow anyone to mistreat her either.
She motivated me through her love of life and left a profound impact on my how I view things. I never ever saw her shame or degrade another person. She was kind all of her life.
My mother told me that they barely had a thing during the Great Depression but grandma still made dresses for little girls who needed them. She used feed sacks that held chicken feed. She was always very resourceful!
I don’t know if I will ever be a grandmother but if I am one day, I hope that I can be a positive influence on my grandchildren, just as she was for me.
This mental capacity is why someone being robbed or kidnapped can be put under hypnosis and can remember exactly the sounds and other clues around them.
We are animals. We have adapted in this manner because it has worked for our survival.
And yes, it is beautiful.
Need, so glad that your hubby's appendix condition was found, was addressed, and that he's doing well. Thanks for your stories that always make us think.
Thanks. So true about books and poetry as well.
Music too. I hear certain songs and suddenly I remember so many wonderful moments of being with good friends listening to our favorite songs!
I’m so sorry that you lost your dog. Our animals become a huge part of our families.
Evolutionarily we are hard-wired to focus more on the negative (i.e., dangerous) than the positive, and many of us are so overwhelmed on a daily basis that it is very, very difficult to see beyond that. But this is such a good reminder to try. Thank you for your post; you are blessed with a wonderful outlook!
I can not sit in Hospitals or rehabs for any length of time, Not because of a bad experience they are just depressing to me. And, they don't make it comfortable for family that does want to stay.
Yes, better to look at the good things in life. I have an article I just found called Counting Your Blessings. It basically says, wake up every morning being thankful for something. If you do it long enough your world would change.
I am aware that depression is mainly caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. I also think depression is caused by expecting life and people to be a certain way and not being able to adjust for that.
Wanting things their way. Well sorry, that's not how life is. We do better just excepting people for who they are, good or bad. If bad, we can walk away. We do not have to accept negativity in our lives, it brings us down. Excepting circumstances and finding a better way or dealing with it and moving on.