Mom is not eating today..she only ate 1/2 a sandwich yesterday. I don't even know if she ate the whole thing because she feeds it to the dog sometimes. Last night she was taking her medication and held water in her mouth for a long time..but when she finally swallowed it, she started to gag. And was trying to throw it up again. She is sleeping right now but do you think I should call?
People are different during their final days. Some people fade away. Other people have a surge of activity that makes them seem like they are getting better. This is thought to be caused by a release of neurotransmitters, e.g. serotonin, in the brain preparing for death. When they are surging, people often eat a hearty meal. Death normally begins soon after.
Other people do not experience surging that anyone notices, so surging can't be used as an absolute indicator.
The hospice nurse does not have to necessarily be there at the time of death. You can call him/her and ask questions about what to do, and let them know your mother's symptoms. The people at hospice will know you have questions and know how to answer them best.