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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Most of the time he acts ok. How do I approach the topic. Do I lie and say it's just home care? I don't think he's there yet but maybe I am reacting to times when he is "normal."
Also to add, as far as dialysis goes....I drive mom to and from the hospital, where she does dialysis, 3x per week. I don't have to find a parking spot - I just pull up into the drop off area. I phone up to the renal unit when we arrive. They send a porter down to wheel mom up to dialysis. She manages to stay still at dialysis quite fine. She has so far not required a caregiver to stay with her - there are always many nurses on staff while she is there, as well as the renal social worker. I am always back at the hospital at a certain time, and they send her back down to me in the care of a porter. Usually she is ravenously hungry afterwards, so I have a snack ready for her. It's fine.
I imagine if she were trying to get out of the chair or unhook herself, that would put me in the position of making the decision for her, but it doesn't go that way. Mom just thumbs through magazines and enjoys "people watching" the nurses and other patients. The only real complain she has is that she wishes she could fall asleep, like some of the other patients.
My mom has end stage renal failure and dementia. With the dementia - sometimes she is cognitively aware, a lot of the time she is confused, sometimes she is really quite nasty. Dialysis was really hard on her for awhile, especially when we switched her over from peritoneal dialysis to hemodiaylsis, but she seems to be stable now.
The renal team has spoken to us about the choice to end dialysis. They have clearly said that any time she wants to end it, she can. The renal social worker also spoke to me about making the decision for her at some point, which may be necessary. Several health care workers have mentioned home hospice as an option, when the time comes. Ending dialysis means ending her life, within weeks to a month or two. That's a huge decision.
So basically what I've been doing is, every once in awhile, I wait for my mom to have a cognitively aware moment and ask her how she feels about continuing dialysis. She has stated very clearly that she's not ready to give up the fight. And I think as long as she is able to make the choice, it should be hers to make. She is the one who has to suffer through dialysis, not me. And even though it seems to me she doesn't have much of a life - she sleeps a lot, has a poor appetite, and doesn't do much except watch TV - she doesn't seem to be suffering a great deal either.
I share POA with my brother. If/when it reaches the point where my mom has no cognitive awareness - where she is not even able to enjoy the few things she still enjoys now - then we will probably make the decision for her. But until then, I don't think it's for us to determine what her quality of life is or whether it's time for her to die.
This is just how I've approached it personally, within my belief system. It's not a judgment call on anyone who might do things differently.
Yes start with what jjariz recommended. Dialysis is so hard on elderly people. It’s such a private issue but if your dad has End Stage Renal Disease he will decline physically & quickly. Good luck to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I imagine if she were trying to get out of the chair or unhook herself, that would put me in the position of making the decision for her, but it doesn't go that way. Mom just thumbs through magazines and enjoys "people watching" the nurses and other patients. The only real complain she has is that she wishes she could fall asleep, like some of the other patients.
My mom is 79 by the way. She will be 80 in July.
The renal team has spoken to us about the choice to end dialysis. They have clearly said that any time she wants to end it, she can. The renal social worker also spoke to me about making the decision for her at some point, which may be necessary. Several health care workers have mentioned home hospice as an option, when the time comes. Ending dialysis means ending her life, within weeks to a month or two. That's a huge decision.
So basically what I've been doing is, every once in awhile, I wait for my mom to have a cognitively aware moment and ask her how she feels about continuing dialysis. She has stated very clearly that she's not ready to give up the fight. And I think as long as she is able to make the choice, it should be hers to make. She is the one who has to suffer through dialysis, not me. And even though it seems to me she doesn't have much of a life - she sleeps a lot, has a poor appetite, and doesn't do much except watch TV - she doesn't seem to be suffering a great deal either.
I share POA with my brother. If/when it reaches the point where my mom has no cognitive awareness - where she is not even able to enjoy the few things she still enjoys now - then we will probably make the decision for her. But until then, I don't think it's for us to determine what her quality of life is or whether it's time for her to die.
This is just how I've approached it personally, within my belief system. It's not a judgment call on anyone who might do things differently.
It’s such a private issue but if your dad has End Stage Renal Disease he will decline physically & quickly.
Good luck to you!