My father passed from ALZ's in 2017 and 3 weeks prior to his passing mom was dx with Vascular Dementia. I have been a fulltime caregiver to both of them and have been doing so since 2015. Mom has gotten to where her mouth hangs open and her head twitches a lot. So difficult to see this and feel so helpless to help her.
It is a very difficult thing to see decline, knowing that this person that you love will not get better, and that there is nothing you can do. You make the best of each day, and at the end of the day if you can go to bed knowing that you did the best that you could that is all anyone can ask.
Even if your loved one is not ill, just natural age progression, decline is difficult.
We are ALL terminal. It is just not something that you think about every day. If you did you would be in a constant state of depression. You live day to day, enjoy the moments you have.
My mom has mid stage dementia and is 86 yrs old and I'm often stunned how her old witty self is gone, how she is so incontinent and just fixates on snacks..my old mom would be mortified if she saw herself now. I cry in the bathoom often, vent here. It's still so painful when my cousins talk about "remember when your mom would xxxxxxx" My dad passed away 10 years ago --- I can't believe he's gone..just like that... though he did have cancer.
Old photos & videos are so hurtful...it seems that part of life just vanished.
Life can be so cruel.
She has had some serious medical issues that have just torn me up to watch, but she recovered from them.
There is nothing easy about caring for someone who is declining. At some point, they won't recover from an issue and it will be the end. I do not want to have to watch that process. But I can't run away - I'm all she has.