My mother has loved to take care of others all her life, taking care of her mother, friend of the family and sister-in-law all diagnosed with dementia and had taken care of them up to the time of their passing. She is so amazing. Before this sequestering, she would walk around asking others, in the nursing home, if she could do anything for them, needing help herself to get dressed. She told me the last time I saw her in March that this is where she had to be so she could help. I talked with the nurse in charge and she suggested a baby doll so mom could take care of her, but I don't know how to present one to her. I don't want to do this incorrectly. I know she needs something to do to feel better about herself. Any suggestions?
I was a real smug ass know-it-all back then (okay, sometimes still). AND, did I ever need to learn a whole lot about dementia and often times - the remaining capacity to love and the need to feel needed and useful.
Such a wonderful and thoughtful gesture on your part! To be honest, I wouldn’t really worry too much about the “how” in all of it - especially since you won’t be able to present the doll yourself and will need to rely on a (hopefully) kind and compassionate staff member.
I've heard of people placing the doll on the elderly individuals bed for them to discover on their own. But, I would worry that the individual may fret over the thought of the baby being abandoned and worry about finding its rightful parent.
I like the idea of sending several outfits - you could probably find some inexpensive ones on-line or if you’re feeling Covid brave, mask up and if your city/state allows - hit a Goodwill store. Include a brief but vague note - something along the line of “Someone to help you pass the time until we can visit in person again” - assuming you visit regularly and she understands the lockdown orders. But of course you can adjust the detailed vagueness. Then let nature take its course.
You are a good and loving daughter to be so considerate and concerned about your mothers emotional wellbeing during this stressful time in our world. God bless (or whomever your deity of choice).