I live in the SE and after 23 years of trying to persuade my mum (who is now in her late 70's) to move down from the NW, she has finally given in, as she's struggling to get up the stairs in her 4 bedroom house, as well as struggling to take care of it. She can't get down the steps in front of the house and rarely leaves the houses these days. She has no family and no neighbours and no support where she is.
Her Dr is a twit and has told her not to move because she wouldn't be able to cope with the 3 hour drive down! I know it's not going to be an easy journey for her and wondered if anyone has experienced anything similar. She has severe rheumatoid arthritis and has has a few heart attacks over the last few years. However, I think it's a crappy thing for the Dr to say as her quality of life would improve dramatically.
I would really love her to have a better quality of life and be somewhere where she is not stressing about coping and living as she is now.
Has anyone got any so,unions to this, she is now scared to move because of what the Dr has said.
Try and make the trip on a Sunday when the traffic is lighter and you will be able to get around London more easily. Get mum some sunglasses to keep out the glare and dim the traffic. Provide a soft pillow and a light blanket. Make sure she has her pain meds and something to sip on in the car.
As far as packing her house up. She should not attempt any of that but must be allowed to choose the things she wants to keep if she is downsizing. Arrange with an auction house to take everything saleable and put in one of their auctions. anything else dump or donate if useable like old clothes. Is she actually going to live with you or somewhere nearby? she sounds independent enough to be alone at least for a while. I have done the pack what I want and then go the auction route several times and it works well. you don't get much money but does save the hassle,
you mention that mum has finally given in and agreed to the move. does she really want to move from the area she knows. Maybe she would prefer to stay in the same area but in a smaller place like senior housing where she would be able to socialize more and not need to worry about house and garden etc. i realize you want to be close so you can help her out but is she really ready for this. You say she is in her late 70s so in theory she could remain independent for another 5 - 10 years. she sounds very capable if she has managed a big house up to now Eventually she may become too ill and weak to be alone but if you can let her make that decision and heed what others say about taking on the caregiving roll. it is not an easy path. One last thought obtain a wheel chair for the trip. It's sometimes a long way to walk in the car parks on the motorway especially if you are stiff from sitting in a car. and finally why not bring her down for a month or so and see if she really likes living in the south after all those years as a northerner.
I'm not a Dr. and I would never suggest to anyone to defy what a Dr. tells them but this simply makes no sense.