Can DPOA give away small items to prepare house for sale?

As others have suggested, I would try and get more details from Mom as to what she meant in getting rid of "stuff". What she would see as "stuff" having little sentimental or financial worth, might be very different to you, and her other adult children/grandchildren. For example, before she died, the grandmother of a friend of mine asked my friend if there was anything he would want from the house after she died. My friend told her that all he would want was a depression glass butter dish with a tin top. Not because of any financial value it might have, but because he had always been fascinated with it from childhood on as it was a part of him visiting grandma and having meals with her. It brought up fond memories of his grandmother for him. She probably just saw it as "some old butter dish" she'd had forever, as she was surprised that's all he wanted! There might be seemingly "trivial" household items that would hold personal meaning for you and your siblings. If your mom and you need all the funds you can get for her care, then that might necessitate sale of ALL items. If this was the case you might tell your sibs that "mom needs money for her care, including anything she can obtain from the sale of these household item.. Unless you (your siblings) plan on depositing money in a bank account for mom now to help pay her current and future cost of care then she will need the money from the sale of these items."

I think if you just get rid of belongings without letting other sibs in, you will be asking for a war. Sometimes things that have no real value have a deep meaning to someone else in the family. My younger sister wanted an old cigarette lighter my father use to own, her daughter wanted an old cookie tin that he had been given with cookies when it was new and it just continued to be used as the cookie tin. That had a very special memory for her. Now if I had thrown that old thing out she would have been heartbroken and angry.

Even though the burden has been placed on you to care for all her needs and act as POA, try to keep your family in tact and work out a solution. If she had a trust, did she ever fill out the paperwork inside that allowed her to give specific items to individual children? If she did, and she is not on MediCal or something that is going to request that they be paid back after her death, then I personally would just take those papers and begin to give out the specific items to whomever MOM wanted them given to. If they don't want it then they can offer it to anyone else.

We decided that everything that we had each given to Mom as a gift, would go back to that person and if they didn't want it then someone else could take it. Whatever was left over would be sold or given to a charity. Now you must realize that my Mom did not have very expensive things so there was no fighting over crystal, gold or china, etc.

The other thing you could do is ask each sibling to send you a list of items they would like to have (from memory not let them into the house) and you could go over the list and try to see if everyone wants one particular item or if it is pretty spread out. Hand out items that way. Some may get more than another but that is because they are not asking for it (my father wanted nothing from his Mom's estate.) You might ask them for a limited number of items like 20 per person and tell them it must be ranked in order of their desire. In other words list the item you want the most as item #1 and go down from there.

A relative of ours has already done this with her children and she brought them all together and started with the oldest and ask them to select one item they wanted and she wrote it down, then the next child got to chose and she wrote that down. This went on and on until there was nothing else that anyone wanted. Now none of them get these items NOW but they each know now what they will inherit when she dies.

Now as far as giving away small items, to whom are you giving them? If they are going to you or your children then there is a problem. I would suggest taking a picture of the items and posting them and telling the family siblings it is posted and if they want any of these items, speak now or forever hold your peace. I would then either sell them or I would donate them to a worthy cause.

God Bless you, this is not an easy job. My mother died last September and it is just not easy, I feel like I am still recovering!

At the time of my Ma going from coping to needing assisted living, there was some dispute regarding health -POA , My eldest sister who cant even look after herself had agreed to be,[my demented father chose her to care for Ma] her idea of POA was that she would sit in the ICU with Ma on a ventilator and she would decide to turn it off.. all other cares were not necessary !! Umm sorry but 90 yr olds don't go on ventilators in this country for a medical reason!. so that was one stress.. We had a family meeting, and set an agenda etc and each person had the right to answer to it, also were encouraged to bring a written response to that agenda item then they were collated and a minutes of meetings written up by the Wealth-POA and every one sign that it was what they agreed to.
Ma then got pneumonia and sped up her transfer.
So it was what did my brother want since he was overseas.. = nothing, then it was for people to come in 3wks time and take what they wanted except what was in the main bedroom. of course they took 5wks.. I chose the charity, as I refused to give to where most of any donations went to the administration. then the rest of the stuff left it became a controlled first come first served cos if you really want it, you would make sure you came. OR it could be tagged as such. the Wealth sister has a copy of the wills so she knew what was itemised but that was already in her safe keeping so not a problem there. I do have some items that if she ever regained her memory AFTER world war 2, that she might be interested in looking at, but that doesn't seem to be happening.
Guess having poor parents helps here. tho it seems eldest sister got given lots of cash prior to the Pa dying.. which she then conveniently forgot about..
Being poor myself I just find it funny. Agree with the answers above, try to sort out what your mother would want on her good days.. and let the rest just disappear

It isn't easy taking care of my mom, but after reading this, I am glad I am an only child.

My 2 cents - remove all items that are in the will. Keep them out of sight so there is less possibility of arguments about these items.
Then - if appropriate - let the siblings have some other items if you mom agrees. Use one of the excellent suggestions others have given here.

When it is time for the estate sale - if there are items of value - use an estate sale company. Don't try to do it yourself. A professional usually has a good advertising system, a good email list of interested people, and, most importantly, knows how to price the items. They also give you sale documents to prove how much money there was. Then there isn't a problem of you being criticized for the amount of the proceeds or having to prove anything.
Even though the professional takes a healthy cut, they earn every penny. Sometimes you actually would come out with more money because they won't under or over price items and you would probably have more buyers that doing it yourself. And you save yourself the physical and emotional stress of doing all the work.
For my mother's estate - it was mostly junk and useless items. Not enough value for an estate sale. So, we arranged for an estate auction instead. Didn't get a lot of money, but we got some, and the auction firm agreed to clean out any remnants and leave the house broom-clean at the end. None of my siblings could complain about the proceeds and my brother and I didn't have to do all the work.

Been there, done this with both parents. Allow siblings to meet at the same time and to select a few personal items. Sell everything else in an estate sale, then donate what's left. Deposit the proceeds from the sale into your mother's bank account. After all, it's her stuff. Keep it simple to avoid too much family drama and possible Medicaid Asset Recovery. You'll save yourself a lot of hassle. Good luck.

I, like, Ferris, was excluded from getting things. POA got most everything. This is what I think you should do. Separate the stuff that is in the will from the other stuff. Let the sibs have what they want. Let them work it out as to how much one gets over the other. Don't say they are out of luck. It would not be nice. You want to build bridges, not burn bridges.

What you can legally do and what is best for family relations can be worlds apart. When my mother was getting ready to move to Assisted Living after my father's death, we first started with what Mom wanted to take with her to her new home. My brother had everyone make a list of what they would like to have and how badly they wanted it (very much, it would be nice, and if no one else wants it). He turned it into a spreadsheet which made it easy for me (as POA). As it turned out, there was very little overlap, and where there were multiple requests we managed to sort it out peaceably. We all had pretty much the same mindset, that there was no object in that house that was worth losing a sibling over. Also, because we all saw the list beforehand, there was time for us to make adjustments. Afterward came the yard sale and yes, we had a "free to good home" piece of furniture. You can actually put curbside pickups on Craig's list--and we did--but the computer desk was gone before the listing came out! Best wishes as you sort through these complexities.

My dad did nothing about dealing with stuff after mom's death, and then five years later when he passed, I was out of the country and my brothers came and cleaned out a good deal of it. There were a few things they took home were actually mine (I was the last one to live at home) but it wasn't worth making anything out of it. When we got back and had to finish cleaning it out and selling it, we had an estate sale, and realized that we didn't know how much some of the items were actually worth, and let some stuff go too cheap. I wised up and put away some of the things with antique or sentimental value before they did get sold cheap, then what we couldn't take was given away. When I sold our house last year, my kids didn't want too many things and there were no problems with who wanted what. I find it interesting to see them using things that came from my house and my folks' house!

Yes it seems cold to shut them out but they were not there when needed. Why let them in on anything. Malloryg8r take them to the sale and either save the proceeds for your mother just incase later in her life she might need a home caregiver or you can spend it on you and your mother. You deserve it

Dear Oregon Girl,
In answer to your question about the D in DPOA, I believe it stands for durable. Below is what I found when I googled Durable POA.
Families should prepare these legal document long before someone starts having trouble handling certain aspects of life. At the time of the signing, the elderly person establishing a durable power of attorney must be capable of deciding to seek assistance. For example, people in late stages of Alzheimer's disease may not be "of sound mind" and therefore unable to appoint a POA
Like a trust, a durable power of attorney can be written so that the transfer of responsibilities occurs immediately. Or, the POA can state that the POA goes into effect when your elderly parent becomes incapacitated. Until that point, the elder can choose to continue to make decisions on his/her own.
A durable power of attorney is essential because if a person becomes incapacitated or incompetent without preparing this document, family and friends will not be allowed to make many important financial decisions, pay bills or make important healthcare decisions on behalf of their parent. Nor can they do crucial Medicaid planning. Anyone who wishes to undertake these tasks would have to go to court and be officially appointed the person's guardian.

Having made the decision to sell my moms home after her husband died, I contacted the realtor who was looking for a buyer. Even tho they paid over
$8,000.00 down payment on a $70,000.00 home, she couldn't get enough money out of it to pay it off, after 3 years. The Realtor referred me to a lady who would go through the contents and have a sale, etc. I took to my home the things mom wanted to keep, or I thought she would want. We took furniture and keepsakes to the retirement home where I placed her. Altho, no siblings were involved, I would have offered anything I was getting rid of or GIVING AWAY to grandkids and I did offer a few nicer things to the lady who so graciously helped me go through my moms things. (when the Realtor stopped paying her). The Realtor helped me file for quick sale for less than she owed on the house.
She found many things I had missed, like old family pics, and precious keepsakes that she found. Moms hand made crocheted afghans, etc. My mom was basically having a mental breakdown. She wasn't fully aware of where she was and what was going on. she was pretty far into dementia. She resented me for a while for making the decisions, but they were necessary. She couldn't afford to keep the house and pay bills. I also bought her car so she would have some savings to be able to go to the retirement home.
Mom is even more dependent on me.
I pray you can come to a decision that will please everyone. But my point was to not give anything away until they are offered to your siblings. That would be cruel. If some items may need to be sold at some point you should make that clear as your moms POA . I hope my viewpoint is helpful. D.

We r selling Moms house for her future care as is. Mom and Dad never had a lot. Dad went on disability at ,52. They lived from pay to pay. What my Mom has is not worth anything. Most of what I've given away was not worth anything. I've taken what I wanted. My brother will take some of the old furniture but its not worth much. Nephew will take what he needs to set up an apartment. What is left will be given to charity. I don't have the time to sell stuff or have a yard sale, which I hate doing. I'm lucky I get done what I do.

Donna1944, why could she not get anymore out of her house than that after just 3 yrs.?

This exact thing happened to my mother when her mother was in end stage nursing care. Mother had cared for GG for 40 years with NO help from either out of state sib. GG had already designated specific things to go to specific people. Those things were boxed separately or taken at the time. We then made determinations as to what should go to whom, based on GG's wishes and finally... just out of desperation. My mother's sister wanted all of GG's furniture SHIPPED to her at no cost to her. Mother denied her that, said if she wanted it so badly, she could fly up and arrange to do that herself. (She didn't of course). My eldest brother somehow got into GG's condo and basically stole everything that wasn't boxed, taped shut and/or nailed down. We thought GG had been robbed, but figured it out pretty quickly. That was a mess, but he did save us the cost of hauling a lot of old stuff away.
I know mother did have DPOA, so she did this all on the up and up. She had the condo repainted and re-carpeted and sold it at almost 1/3 less than the actual value so as just to get her sister to leave her alone. I know she was "allowed" to take money for her time , and I know she did not.
The worst usually comes out in people in this kind of situation. I personally want NOTHING from my Mother's estate, as she has "promised" the same items to several people. It's often a nightmare, and often the one most involved sib who takes it in the end. Very sad. She's grieving her mother and her sister is calling her daily for updates on when she's going to get her boxes of stuff (GG had not even passed yet) Mother thankfully refused and refused to give her anything until after the funeral and all other expenses had been taken care of. It's been 21 years and mother still refers to that as the worst nightmare of her life.

My Mom has nothing of value except for a string of cultured pearls her oldest granddaughter, my daughter, would like to have. My mother watched this GD while I worked. Out of 7 grandchildren she lived the closest and was the favorite. She is also the one who was able to do the most for them. I told her to take them and then ask Mom if she could have them. I don't think my brothers will remember the pearls but I want to be able too say that Mom wanted my daughter to have them.

After 12 years taking care of our mom at home, my mom recently decided that she felt it was too much for us to continue taking care of her because of her increased medical conditions (she is urine and bowel incontinent, has a permanent catheter now, early dementia, can no longer stand or walk so we have to clean her/change her/bathe her/dress her in the bed, and the only way she can be transported is by using an eletric hoyer from bed to electric wheelchair). I am POA (medical & Durable) so I finally got a nursing home and they have her on the list, but we need to sell the house to pay her expenses monthly. What she had me and my sister do is do a complete inventory of everything in the house, garage, and two sheds out back and do a list so she could designate what items she wanted to go to specific family members (she have a big family -- 6 kids and 16 grandkids). Dad is deceased 12 years ago. She recently had me attach this list to her Will so her wishes would be followed. Now that she will be going into a Nursing Home, she has asked that the list stay the same and that all family members listed get what she designated for them. That's how I will follow through on her wishes once we sell the house. I will give them their list of items and let them know when they have to be out of the house and taken to their residences. Just a suggestion!

Joann--
Despite all the pre-promises, if your mother is capable, have her write out a note specific to the handing of the pearls to your daughter. My GG promised all of us granddaughters one of her VERY expensive cocktail rings. However, I never got mine, my sister took two. It was a ruby surrounded by diamonds. My birthstone is a ruby. I KNOW she wanted me to have that specific ring, but since she didn't make any kind of note of that., other than verbally to me, I didn't get it. I have nothing of my grandmother's. Yes, the ring was incredibly valuable (probably worth over $10,000 in today's market. Sis never wears it. I don't know to this day why she took it, she's a multi millionaire and I don't think had emotional ties to that particular ring. (She got a ring with her birthstone, also surrounded by diamonds) My granddad had money and showered grandma with expensive jewelry. In the end I got a box of "loose" man made pearls that would cost far more to have re-strung than they are worth. And they have no sentimental value. I'd cover my assests, so to speak and make sure that your mother's wishes were in writing. It would have been nice for my grandma to have done that with her enormous jewelry collection.

and not only that, midkid, but make sure she states where it is - I mean, I guess if you know, but mom actually put in her will 2 specific pieces of jewelry, a brooch and a ring that had belonged to my grandmother, though, honestly, I'm not sure she described them, at least not well enough for me to know what she was talking about, except they had diamonds in them and I had no idea where they were; they weren't for me - long story - but as executor, of course I had responsibility, so, again, of course, I went through everything she had, including and especially, but not limited to, all her jewelry I could find, even bringing out every brooch and ring I could find - was going to say that had any kind of gem but, no, I think I brought out everything - to my one uncle, for sure, who his oldest daughter was supposed to get one of the pieces and who would know because things like that of his mothers meant something to him - for him to look at to see if any of them was it - the other uncle, who's oldest daughter, was supposed to get the other piece, didn't know or care; he cared more about his dad's stuff that mom had, (that I let him have some of anyway) so even though I did the same, he didn't want to look but since the other one had said none of that was it, I took him at his word; dad and I had already checked the safe deposit box and nothing in there; if she really wanted them to go where she'd said, really think that's what she should have done; that uncle did finally end up saying that he had tried to ask mom about them before she passed away and she'd started crying; really think they'd gotten taken and she knew it and just hated to say anything; not sure why you mentioned the value, midkid, if that's the issue; thinking that, if so, in this case, maybe insurance, but no, just realized she would never have filed a claim on it and not sure how that would have worked anyway; or if just the sentimental for you, like these were pieces that my grandfather gave my grandmother, think the ring, at least, might have been her engagement ring; however, having said that, just had this conversation with someone today; they were double cousins and both favored their other grandmother, so really don't think they meant that much to either one of them; one of them I think would have just sold it - mom had her reasons but it hurt so in a way, I'm somewhat glad they couldn't be found but, having said that, yes, I think Joanne needs to get those pearls for her daughter more documented and put in a safe place and documented where that is

Whatever you do, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! You don't want accusations later that you favored one person over another or stole something. I agree that an elder care attorney should be giving you advice. Can you ask your mother what she wants done with the larger items at least? I would not, under any circumstances, let the siblings rummage through the house. Chaos is the least of the problems. There will be fights, accusations, nasty words, I can just about guarantee you. It gets ugly really fast. Cover your tail, take pictures, make up a list, talk to an attorney and your mother, then send pics to the sibs if your mom wants them to be able to choose from those items not listed in the will. You must keep control of the situation and be sure they don't go nuts on you. You have to take care o your own health as well, and that includes your mental health.

All interesting comments. How I wish my situation were so easy. My sister and I have been there and taken care of mom all her life. Suddenly youngest sister a couple yrs ago stepped in changed the Will, POAs, the keys everything. She has banned me from the house any and all contact with my mother. When things started getting bad I ask mom what was going on Her statement was and is they are protecting me from you. WHAT???? Elder Abuse says mom's fine these are her wishes...WHAT??? They have no clue When questioning mom her reply is She (the sister) would never do that. She is a known drug dealer but never arrested until now for a Class #4 Felony weapons charge and sits detoxing behind bars. nothing has change since the dealers youngest daughter has now moved in with mom to protect her since her mom can't right now. This granddaughter draws a monthly check from mom, ahh "just because" Last month the dopper pd moms house keeper to take her to the cardiologist. What, my sister and I have never been pd all these yrs to take mom or dad to drs we didn't even know there is a heart issue. Oh Well since my sis and I do not have $3,000-$5,000 to retain a lawyer we have to take it, there is nothing we can do. No agency will help, standard response from 5 min visits say she fine. It devastated me and is another proven document of her incapacity when mom filed a police report of theft of many things, key to her lock box, SS Card, drivers Lic and on and on and accused me. When the officer was at my home I suggested he go to the jail and talk to that one up there. So far today nothing more has taken place.

Duckie dont give up keep stipulating you supsect abuse and keep on doing it AND KEEP RECORDS. there may come a time when you need to propve this god forbid but it may happen. NEVER GIVE UP seeking for right for your mum.

As a Brit I dont understand this bit:
Last month the dopper pd moms house keeper to take her to the cardiologist

Your felon of a sister surely wont be allowed to care for her?

Contact social services in writing and keep on at them re abuse of finances, isolation I dont know where you live but there a serious consequences for this type of abuse - your mum might need a review of her mental capacity too.

The idea of one child telling the others what they can have is appalling to me. The fact that a parent would put any of his/her children over another is also appalling.
Giving family items, no matter how small, away or selling such without including the other siblings is downright pagan and extremely selfish of any poa or executor..unless the sale of such is required for reembursement, col, or medical bills for the elder.
I am constantly shocked at those referring to their own siblings as vultures, and worse.
Caretakers? Seriously? How could anyone with compassion treat their siblings such?
But I thank you. It helps me, who was and wanted to be more involved in parents care, but was disallowed by my brother the poa, executor...understand his callous, selfish and utterly hateful greed to have it ALL for himself, or sold with no contact with siblings or accounting to anyone. Not even offers to buy back our memories, sentiments over strangers.

He also sold many items loaned or borroed to and by parents that actually belonged to others.

Not a single other family member was even allowed to attend the memorial for our father. Each and every one offered care and help the minute they knew dad,grandpa was ill. Disturbed brother wanted it all for self, disallowed anyones involvement in any of it. He has a lot of explaining to do to the court of GOD.

Where there is disagreement, the simplest answer is to first lock up the whole place. Have an estate sale, siblings can buy what they want. The proceeds go to mom's care. This will make Medicaid very happy that nothing was gifted away. Gifts result in dollar for dollar Medicaid penalties.
If by some miracle, the estate sale money is not needed for her care, the proceeds can be evenly divided among the heirs. I sort of doubt that will happen.

I agree with Pam regarding any proceeds going to mom's care. It is a hard road we are all on, and even with advice and guidance, it is still hard to know if we are making the right decisions. I'm my mother's DPOA, and I sold her home. It was a hoarded nightmare. I actually listed her home as her daughter, and obtained the DPOA during the process so I could sign paperwork for her. In our case, it was so much easier. I'm an only child, and with the home being in the condition it was in...it wasn't too hard to throw things away, this included a lot of furniture that their dogs had did their business on. What was sold (some silver) we kept the receipts and the money was used for respite care (I kept receipts for this too). Good Luck with everything!!

Nothingspecial, it sounds like you've experienced extreme heartache, like many do in different circumstances. As for the brother's behaviors, I don't understand that either, unless there are details explaining his rationale.

Based on experiences of numerous people I know, there is a wide range of circumstances. Ideally, family members are honest, honorable, cooperative people. When it becomes apparent that one or more are corrupt and have abused a parent's assets, hopefully there is an honorable, ethical person who can be trusted to handle matters to satisfy the intent of the parent/grantor.

Like you, I found one serving as POA to be abusing their parents' assets, then lying and damaging family relationships to deflect attention from their corrupt practices which happened over years.

Like many of those who accept the fiduciary responsibility, I also know the pain of being verbally & even physically assaulted in trying to do what is in the best interests of my parents and to comply with the law. It necessitates the need to set and enforce boundaries.

Having fewer assets than others is no guarantee that parents will be not be financially abused, or that all beneficiaries will be treated equally. Having a lot doesn't mean havoc is expected, either. So much depends on relationships, and those can change in a moment. Greed is a powerful motivator for so many.

You say "The idea of one child telling the others what they can have is appalling to me. The fact that a parent would put any of his/her children over another is also appalling." Someone outside the immediate family could be put in charge, or perhaps an attorney designated. Some POAs/Executors/Trustees behave honorably in spite of unfortunate behaviors on the part of their siblings. Some are deplorable regardless of the support & cooperation of others.

Often, because of extreme dissension, Executors have little choice but to engage others to handle the disposition of property, etc. Family members should be free to express interest in select items, whether to purchase or just receive, in non-threatening circumstances. The responsibility ultimately lies on the shoulders of the one(s) responsible for those decisions.

I, for one, continue to return any gift items that are no longer used by my parent, or at least give the person right of first refusal for themselves/their children. I am also passing on small items of minimal/low value because it will cost more to have them handled for sale. Family members have been asked what they're interested in having, for sale, for larger value items. This is one way to be "fair" to the others. Not all have money to spend or room for items made available. Some have unpaid debts they refuse to pay.

Someone needs to handle the responsibilities rather than having a "free for all" occur, with the weaker/more timid family member(s) being left in the cold. "Five-finger" acquisitions can be all too common when some are free to come & go in a vulnerable person's home, especially those visitors who violate boundaries and have no consideration for others.

To me, it is "downright pagan and extremely selfish" for people on either side to lie, cheat, be abusive/disrespectful to others, especially to innocent people, whatever their role.

It's fortunate if you have never seen "vulture" behaviors. For those of us who have & may even live in fear of our safety, the "pagan" people are a major concern. The quicker & cleaner things can be handled where hostile/deceitful people are threatening, the sooner matters can be put to rest, IMHO.

Also, if you haven't been a victimized caregiver, it's difficult to explain how scary things can get, especially when exhaustion & the stress of patient care takes all the strength one has.

I wish you peace and happiness while you give yourself a chance to heal after your ordeal.

pam is right (as usual), it might be best under the circumstances to have an estate sale, with a "family pre-sale" the night before. If anyone has read my other post here, my mom did pass on June 18th and I am now faced with preparing her large home for sale, as well as fielding multiple questions from siblings, grandkids, and now also her mail (forwarded to my address) is piling up. What the siblings (& grandkids) don't realize, is all the hours & hours that I personally am responsible to do, with just paperwork! and canceling her doctor appointments for July, onwards. and cancel the paper boy. and change all her billing addresses. all of this takes TIME---and if some granddaughter starts whining to me about how she wants grandma's Christmas pillow, unfortunately that is REALLY at the bottom of my list, for now. Honestly we just got her into the ground 5 DAYS AGO. Just goes to show how some people do not think before they speak---and I know I have been guilty of this too--but seriously, I have had the 90% burden of caregiving and overseeing the paid caregiver (who came only 2-3 hours once per week), and now I have the 101% burden of settling the Estate. I am personally "liable" to the beneficiaries (the 4 siblings) to ensure it is handled fairly and according to them, as quickly as possible while also maximizing their inheritance.
Nobody seems to remember all the little things that mom needed doing.....like picking up her prescriptions in the middle of a blizzard while my fingers froze to the steering wheel and I could hardly see.

Mallory hun my heart goes out to you xxxx Fairly and equitably is the order of the day nowhere does it mention quickly. Timely maybe ie you can't leave it forever as a shrine but quickly is not necessarily in the best interest either.
A little advice I learned from the death of my Dad and I felt awful at the time but blooming heck it made life easier.

I created a database with all the name of the people I had to notify and I only had about 30 so heavens knows how many some people had. Then I added all the reference numbers for each of them and any other essential information. When the time came I just added the date and time of death and the doctor who signed the death certificate to a prewritten letter and mail merged it. I used the addresses to mail merged labels and it was all done in less than 30 minutes once he passed.

A little bit of time done now saves hours and hours of sorting at a time when you just dont feel up to it. I got the post office to redirect mail and I dont know whether you have the facility but I asked them not to forward junk mail.

hen when I got circulars that seem to continue for ever after dad died I just wrote deceased RTSender on the envelope and put it back in the mail. It was all much simpler that way and I didnt stress at a time when I needed to focus. Focus because my Dad made my life a happy one despite some ugly stuff and will always be my shining star and others were falling to bits in front of me