Are memory problems and faulty thinking early signs of dementia?
My mom is in her mid-eighties and she's having issues. Below are just a few examples of what has been happening.
She can't seem to recall her passwords. As a result, she is constantly getting locked out of her accounts. We've tried making things easier for her with auto log-ins and a password list for her to reference. She still manages to get locked out. We've explained to her time and time again that most websites only give you 2-3 tries before the account gets locked out. She keeps insisting the problem is with her computer. (It isn't.)
She gets scam text messages and e-mails. The two most common ones are "thank you for your order" scam and "we noticed unusual activity on your account, and you need to verify your information" scam. We've tried to explain to her repeatedly that these are scams. We don't know how many times we tried to tell her that if you don't recognize the company or the item on the order, it's a scam. We also repeatedly tried to tell her that the one online company she orders from regularly (we have an account with them too) never sends a text message about needing account verification. They always e-mail if there's a problem.
My mom has had a history of back problems and had surgery previously. She went to her primary care doctor due to her back pains flaring up. Her doctor ran tests and scans but didn't find anything. It was apparent to us that she was having a medical issue, and the doctor just wasn't properly diagnosing it. We tried to tell her to get a second opinion. After having repeated conversations with her and citing examples of how doctors can sometimes misdiagnose, she finally agreed to go to another doctor. This new doctor didn't just find one problem but TWO.
She went to visit a family member and almost fell due to her blood sugar level dropping. She gets back from this trip and insists she needs to pack up and move in with this relative. We tried to explain to her that before she does that, she should make an appointment to see her primary care doctor and get evaluated and/or get blood work done, get rid of her belongs (through donations, yard sales, or both), and take the necessary steps to get transitioned out (find a new primary care doctor, dentist, close out accounts, etc.).
We’re very frustrated. We've trying reasoning with her, but it doesn't seem to be helping. We appreciate any insight anyone may have.
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If you can, get her an iPad with fingerprint recognition and touch for saving and using passwords. Then she doesn’t need to remember them, just touch the power button to login in with her fingerprint when prompted. *You* setup those passwords and logins for her so you have a way into the device, too. My mom forgot how to use the TV remote she had used for ten years, but was still able to use an iPad she had only had a short time.
Some devices also do face recognition from the camera - my new Android phone does, likely many other phone types do, too. I had my mother’s iPad set up to open with no password (no bank accounts, or other higher security accounts on the device).
Cell phones can have some strong spam filtering put on it to block most such call or texts. Likewise spam filters on the email accounts. Some built-in, some with add-on apps you can install.
If she still has a landline phone, I would suggest changing it over to a VOIP (voice over IP) phone, which looks and acts like a landline, but the service is over the internet. Ooma, MagicJack… there are others. I had my mom’s phone on a service like that. It let me review incoming calls and block scam/spam calls directly, as well as having good automatic filters. Even things I didn’t want her to have to deal with, or she couldn’t deal with - like a dentist or doctor’s office - I would have those calls forward automatically and directly to a message telling them to call me.
My mother got into thinking she had to call the phone number on every piece of advertising or junk mail she got to find out what she needed to do with them (I shudder to remember this!). I and other family members started quietly confiscating and disposing of junk mail like that. Later, in the assisted living, they would filter her mail, save up questionable ones for me or another family member to pass along to her or not. Ones obviously cards or letters from family and friends they gave her immediately. Bills and junk mail they held back.
Your mother is not following your reasoning and explanations. Likely she can't. From what you write, it sounds like dementia to me, however I'm not a doctor.
Her dr needs to know about your concerns and these examples and your mom needs to be evaluated.
Read around this site. You will find much useful information and experience. It's a very stressful time in a family. Be sure you take care of yourself.
My mother was doing all kinds of weird things, without explanation.
We tried explaining, we tried reasoning.
We tried and tried to understand.
We tried and tried to get HER to understand.
Nothing worked, and things got worse.
Had all the testing done for thyroid issues, urinalysis, etc.
Came here.
Started reading, taking the advice of wise posters.
It was dementia for sure.
Four years down the road, and Mom's in stage 6.
You're in the right place, if it does turn out to be dementia.
Keep us posted with updates as you can.
We've done some online research and we truly believe she needs to be cognitively and/or neurologically evaluated because something isn't right with her.
It seems like her analytical skills are disappearing. She wasn't like this before.
We've explained and reasoned to the point of exasperation. She usually comes up with some excuse. Like in the case of her back pains, she thought nothing more can be done because her primary care doctor (at the time) already ran tests and scans, and didn't find anything. She'll get fixated on that and won't let it go. Another example, she got an e-mail alert from her credit card company 3 days prior to the due date and day of the due date, and she ignored it. When we asked her about it, she said that she already paid it and didn't know why she was being sent an alert. When we checked up on it, she paid the wrong account. She didn't even bother to investigate.
Was your mom doing any these things we mentioned?