So I am short of taking mom in to an urgent care facility as she states today she is “not feeling well,” “I don’t want to eat or drink,” “My arthritis pain is still really bad.” She was seen and treated for the arthritis pain but her lack of appetite and her disinterest in even her own little activities of late have ramped up ten fold. I asked her if she was sick or if it was the pain, and I got a vague “Oh, I don’t know I don’t feel well and nothing sounds good to eat.” I ran the gamut of questions, “is it the flu, did you catch a cold, is it the pain.” “Well, I don’t really know.” So I burst right out with it and said, “Mother I think you are depressed, and if that is the case I will HAVE to intervene.” “Yeah you’re probably right.” Mind you this is someone who refuses to take pills because, “I don’t want the side effects,” or, makes me look up the side effects on my smartphone when the doctor writes out a new prescription (I do not do this). I’m so at my wits end and so frustrated, I know you can’t lead a horse to water but she got a little excited about the prospect of going to urgent care - as if it was a “people will pay attention to me.” This is the situation - I am at her house every day. I call her four times a day. I attend to errands, medical appointments, buy and pay for most of her groceries, and support her financially. I realize I sound like I’m whining but I just don’t know what to do here. She doesn’t like any of her doctors (some of them have been rather crummy) and is just content to let life pass by now. “Why bother cooking or eating or whatever, it’s only me that lives here.” She does not have dementia, her mind is sharp, she has to take Afib medication, and that’s all she takes. I feel like it’s my responsibility for her to get/feel better, and I just don’t know what to do. I have older siblings in other states, I’ve let them know today’s situation and I have finally decided that they are going to help me with mom’s care (I’m the POA/co-trustee, etc.,) but I’m not going to do this alone.
Your insight will be helpful. I know I’m not alone here but today I surely feel like it.