He obsesses about when the heat and air come on and go off. As soon as someone throws something in the trash, he takes that bag out and replaces it with another one. He has lost 40 pounds over the past 6 months, but all his tests come back normal. He no longer carries a normal conversation. He is taking celexa, trazadone and ambiem.
Austin is right you should not let others think it's OK to shovel everything on your plate although, I totally understand that everyone thinks that thier life is far more important and it's like you asked for the job and all the drama. This only means your the one that cares and you should be proud. I also learned that although this time is tuff you are the one blessed with the awareness of "LIFE" and how this is the most important treasure we have all been given! Those who look at "LIFE" through sellfish, uncareing, heart and eyes is a punishment they bring unto themselves!!! I am glad I will never suffer with that reality. The more you give the stronger you will get. The more they shut out the more suffering they will encounter. Stay possative and focus on good and keep evil and greed far away. Honesty and a good heart is your best weapon. Remember this... if your not a part of the solution your part of the problem. It might help you to express that thought maybe they will wake up. Good Luck!!!
Give other a chance and if they are bringing you down don't even waiste your good energy. I call those who do that "FUN SUCKERS" .
Gosh, all these little tricks to make their life and ours better. We are truly wonderful and we are learning so we can share and help others now and in the future.
Example: "My Mom asked me everytime she washed hands where's the soap?"
I was glad her hygene was 100% but arghhhh!!! Then after two months I figured out she was not used to liquid soap she was looking for a bar of soap on the sink.
I put a... bar and she never asked again. Sometimes the most nerve racking thing to us has a solution, you just have to "solve the dementia logic puzzle".
Example: My Mom's room was moved, down the hall, it was in reverse, from the one she got used to in NH after a year. She was confused and would go back to the old room to nap. Upon visiting her she was napping and I couldn't find her in her room, she was in the old room. I asked the staff and they said she does that we don't know why! I looked on the name tags on the door entrance to her old room, there was her name. She reads whats on the door so she knows its her room, same with bathroom. After bringing this to the staffs attention all the closets are name tagged in rooms now too, solved many lost item problems too. This may not solve the big picture but hopeful it will help this issue.
As newtonjoyce and Lilliput suggest, general good health practices such as getting enough fluids, getting some exercise, and good diet all contribute to mental wellness, and lack of them can exaserbate mental problems. Social interaction and mental stimulation are also valuable, but since your father cannot carry on a conversation that may be somewhat challenging. Isolation is probably counterproductive, but overstimulation can be bad, too.
In other words, Millie, you are in a very tough situation. We all mean well with our advice, and some of it may actually be helpful, but you probably need more support than we can offer. Your father has been hospitalized more than once and in rehab for his mental problems. Can you get in touch with the social worker there, and see if you can be directed to a local caregiver group and given literature? Do you attend your father's sessions with his doctors? Can they give you some advice on strategies for coping with the obsessions? What do they think the weight loss means? If Father is being seen by more than one doctor, be sure that they are all aware of all the symptoms.
Again, hugs to you as you struggle with this big challenge.
My Mom was in rehab and given Vicoden for pain. She started hallucinating. The doctor said, "oh, she must have dementia." To which I replied, "do you think its the pain meds???" I had him take her of the Vicoden and replace it with tylenol...the hallucinations stopped.
You have to be vigilant. Any abrupt changes in behavior have to be from the meds or combinations there of.
Has he tried alternative remedies? Therapy, naturopathics, exercise, more social interaction, changing his diet?
I assume that the doctor who is managing the medications is a psychiatrist. Be sure you keep him or her informed of changes in your father's behavior. And also involve your father's primary care physician.
Science has come a long, long way in understanding the brain, and a long way in determining how to correct malfunctioning. We are still far from mastery of that. One of the huge obstacles is the uniqueness of individuals. Drugs and therapies that work wonders for some patients do nothing for the next patient, and even make things worse for another patient, as newtonjoyce notes. I am sure you are painfully aware, Millie, that treatment of mental illness has a trial-and-error aspect to it that can be very frustrating to all concerned.
You might ask the psychiatrist advice on how to respond to your father's obsessions. Maybe you should just buy stock in a waste-basket liner company, and keep saying calming, It is 8:22. It is 8:25. You can also try redirection. It is 9:33 and I need some company in the kitchen while I make a batch of cookies. Can you crack the eggs for me?
I don't make any of these suggestions as an expert. Having dealt with mental illness in the family, I can say sincerely that my heart goes out to you both, and I appreciate and admire your desire to care for your father.
That's a lot of medicine and the side effects of them can cause problems. Talk to your pharmacist as suggested. My dad was taking a medicine which made his dementia worse and that was a side effect! There was another that was suppose to help his dementia and that was bad news too.
If this has been happening over time, he needs to be evaluated for cognitive issues.
Talk to you pharmacist too - they are a great resource.
Who gave him what kinds of tests that come back normal? Obviously his behavior isn't normal and it could be useful to get to the causes. Maybe a change in his drugs would help. Maybe there is an underlying pathology, such as dementia.
Although annoying to you, these particular obsessions don't seem dangerous. Still, they indicate that something is wrong.
If the medical tests he had were just about the weight loss, perhaps it is time for a more comprehensive geriatric evaluation.