My mom has CHF, COPD, Afib, Pulmonary hypertension, and dementia- I have been caring for her alone for over 4 yrs since she broke her hip.
I have always lived with my mom. Back in the day we had separate lives, and slowly I helped her with little things. The slow role reversal took place without either of us noticing or caring.
When she broke her hip, it was life altering. We got through it, and she got stronger at home, but the care grew, as did the dementia. She has been in the hospital annually, but I have always been able to bring her home and care for her.
This year she has been in the hospital 3 times with pneumonia. The last bout her kidneys tanked but after dialysis came back and she is currently in rehab. Her PT stopped today; I feel she is not strong enough to care for her myself yet, so I will just continue PT myself in the Rehab
My problem is I am so stressed out my BP is sky high, my head feel tight and I fear for myself. I have major burnout, but I am feeling like I am failing mom. I don’t want to get mom home and not be able to care for her, nor do I want her in a nursing home if at all possible to care for her. I just feel like I am failing her. I don’t know what to do, and feel so stressed, and worried for my own health
But either way -- there is surely a social worker in the rehab place. Part of their job is to help caregivers give the appropriate care. And though it may feel like you are "failing" your Mom to not be able to care for her at home, I be you would see it differently if you imagined falling with your Mom, and both being hurt; being so stressed you lost your job; ending up in the hospital yourself and not having back up at home. Not to scare you, but all (and more) are possibilities. If the lifeboat is leaking (and you are clear that it is), the passenger (your Mom) isn't as safe and dry as it seems. Get help. And know that GETTING that help actually helps your Mom.
Assisted living allows more of a home like experience that a skilled nursing facility.
Review health insurance coverage. After the 20 days with full medicare coverage, my Mom stayed in rehab another 4 weeks. Her group insurance paid for everything medicare didn't cover. (This depends on the plan so check it out). Ask about the discontinuance of PT. Some therapists don't know how to work with patients that are confused and when they see no progress they recommend that it be stopped. This happened with my Mom, I moved her to an assisted living place and their therapists were able to help my Mom a lot more than the rehab place. Hope this helps. I've been there with all the same issues except the dialysis.