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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hi Maxine, I'm with Mia, Sherrie and Jeanne above. My mom had been showing signs for over 10 years when I look back on it and know now what I wished I could have seen earlier. My mom is gone now but we had a few more good adventures and I miss her. By me not understanding what she was dealing with, both of us suffered so much when we could have had a big head start on the whole situation. That's what makes this site so valuable in the fact that there are those of us that have gone on before so the ones coming into these wierd mom and dad situations have a better grip on what to do.
Talk to the friend and find out what the issue was. See if she has any insight or god forbid she has signs too. Maybe they're both suffering. You never know.
Be patient with yourself and with your mom. Getting old is a bear and she could be scared. When someone is suffering from cognitive impairment sometimes we as caregivers forget how horrifying it is for them because their crazy behavior takes center stage.... if indeed this is what the issue is.
My mom was mad at everybody. Everybody was at fault here or there and since she was always a 'prickly' personality I just thought that everyone had just royally pissed her off and there you go. I was way wrong. She had dementia and was frightened and paranoid. It took awhile after I intervened but she came to know that she was 'safe and sound' and lived with her dementia with as much grace and dignity that we both could muster. Good Luck and keep coming back to this site. It will save your life.
Maxine, is there a reason for this behavior, or does it seem to be totally unprovoked? Has Mom's behavior changed in other ways? Are you Mom's caregiver? Has she been diagnosed with dementia or mild cognitive impairment? More information would help people provide more answers.
Dear Maxine, Behaviour changes are one of the first signs of Dementia. I take care of my mother in law and actually 10 years before she was formally diagnosed she had alienated most of the family. We didn't understand what was going on with her and she was also dealing with the sickness (cancer) and death of my father in law. Now that I look back, I think she was also depressed and this makes things even worse. She had never worked and had very few friends. She had very strange behavior. She went to her brother in laws funeral and jumped all over her own brother. I had told the family I felt she was having problems but it took some time to get her diagnosed and we finally got the answers we were looking for when I had a Geriatric Assessment completed. Ask your doctor about this. It is very important that if she is having some kind of mental decline, that medication is started. This does slow down the progression in the beginning as long as they take the meds. (or at least this is how it worked with mom). They can also monitor depression, which can really help also. If you have these answers, it is easier to understand. Her friend must be devastated. Mom hasn't talked to her one son in years. He doesn't understand how she can say some of the things that she does so he just stays away. But the thing is that these times come and go and then they don't even remember what had happened. I hope this helps you...Let me know if I can help...Sherri
Without more information this is hard to answer. What is your mother's age and health condition? Does she have Alzheimer's or dementia? Is there a reason for the riff? If you know your mothers friend, then sit and talk to her friend.
if your mother is of sound mind and chooses to end a 50 yr friendship... there is little you can do. What would your mother do if you were ending a long LONG friendship?
Although we don't want anyone to be without friends, sometimes things DO happen. Try to be supportive and understanding is all you can do!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm with Mia, Sherrie and Jeanne above.
My mom had been showing signs for over 10 years when I look back on it and know now what I wished I could have seen earlier. My mom is gone now but we had a few more good adventures and I miss her.
By me not understanding what she was dealing with, both of us suffered so much when we could have had a big head start on the whole situation.
That's what makes this site so valuable in the fact that there are those of us that have gone on before so the ones coming into these wierd mom and dad situations have a better grip on what to do.
Talk to the friend and find out what the issue was. See if she has any insight or god forbid she has signs too. Maybe they're both suffering. You never know.
Be patient with yourself and with your mom. Getting old is a bear and she could be scared. When someone is suffering from cognitive impairment sometimes we as caregivers forget how horrifying it is for them because their crazy behavior takes center stage.... if indeed this is what the issue is.
My mom was mad at everybody. Everybody was at fault here or there and since she was always a 'prickly' personality I just thought that everyone had just royally pissed her off and there you go.
I was way wrong. She had dementia and was frightened and paranoid. It took awhile after I intervened but she came to know that she was 'safe and sound' and lived with her dementia with as much grace and dignity that we both could muster.
Good Luck and keep coming back to this site. It will save your life.
lovbob
If you have these answers, it is easier to understand. Her friend must be devastated. Mom hasn't talked to her one son in years. He doesn't understand how she can say some of the things that she does so he just stays away. But the thing is that these times come and go and then they don't even remember what had happened.
I hope this helps you...Let me know if I can help...Sherri
if your mother is of sound mind and chooses to end a 50 yr friendship... there is little you can do. What would your mother do if you were ending a long LONG friendship?
Although we don't want anyone to be without friends, sometimes things DO happen. Try to be supportive and understanding is all you can do!