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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
If he is on Match, you can make a complaint about him, using online name, then Match will turn off his profile. Do you have online access to his checking account, saving accounts and credit card accounts? Then you can watch for unusual financial transactions. If you are not authorized to speak with bank or credit card issuers, you might want to become one. But it would require his authorization. He needs to be warned that women online can be men from another country posing as women. This is a one major way that elders are defrauded financially. Can you discus with your father whether any of his online contacts have asked him for a loan or other financial assistance? I wonder if your father is lonely or socially isolated. Has a friend or family member died recently? Does he go out regularly, such as to church or even grocery shopping? I see that my very old clients , over 80 years, are often lonely. Thus they try to relieve their loneliness with the means available, such as only dating. Also has your father been evaluated for Alzheimer's or other type of dementia recently? Urge him to see his physician. I am glad you wrote about his behavior, it can have serious financial consequences if not caught in time. Keep us posted about your father as online behaviors or misbehavior safe coo on among those with memory loss.
My FIL is sexually fixated, although fortunately not tech savvy enough to find an online outlet. One of the first signs of his dementia was his inability to navigate around his computer, so my husband hid the browser while giving him desktop icons for his favorite sites, like fantasy sports that he played with family members. The idea to disconnect your dad from wi-fi is good, if that's how he accesses the internet.
Definitely find some way to keep an eye on his finances. Not only is scamming rampant, but many sex or chat sites harbor nasty viruses that may provide access to his financial information if any of it, i.e. credit cards or banking, is on his computer.
For him this may all seem like harmless fun, but if he's not careful he can end up in trouble. If he's talking to women (real or not) of his own age, no harm other than the above, but if he thinks he's talking to hot young girls... not only are they likely not real, they might be law enforcement. That would be really bad. :(
It would be worth the money to speak to an Elder law attorney. If your father has dementia, or needs to be evaluated for mental competence, the attorney will be able to guide through the process. There are legal steps to take to protect their finances, if he is incompetent. You need to protect your mother's financial future.
If your father is in a normal mental state with no diagnoses of Alzheimer's or Dementia, unfortunately, there isnt much you can do. However, at his age, there is a good chance he could be having issues. Without mentioning that you are aware of his online activities, have a discussion with both your parents and ask if they would consider giving you Power of Attorney. You can also offer to help them manage their finances, even so far as helping write checks for bills. Have an honest discussion with both parents and offer your help. Don't mention your father's online shenanigans. Ask to open joint checking account. Put it to the fact that at some point you may be responsible for paying their bills, and you'd feel better knowing everything was In order for them. How did you become aware of this? Does he brag about it or do you have access to his computer? If you have sibs, make sure you are all on the same page with Dad and Mom. You can even start a discussion about the elderly and these scams and tell your parents you're glad they're "too smart" to fall for any of them.
We need more info to be more helpful. Your profile states that you are caring for someone with mobility issues. Is that person your father or another family member? Are your parents still married and living in the same household? Is your dad in the beginning stages of dementia? Has he confided in you about his online behavior? Does your mother (or present wife if not your mom) have a clue about any of this and is she taking it seriously?
You are right to be concerned, regardless of the details. Good luck with this sticky situation and let us know how it unfolds.
Lovingdaughter1: I would be very angry with him! DO REMIND HIM THAT HE IS A MARRIED MAN AND HE IS NOT TO TRY TO PICK UP WOMEN! And oh yes, darn straight, there will be that gold digger woman who WILL scam him. You may want to look at bank statements to see if he's already funneled some money out.
Hi lovingdaughter1 I don't have an answer for you but just to let you know that you are not alone. I am having the same problems with my 86 year old father as well. He has verbally told a woman who lives in the same elder care home as my parents that this woman is beautiful and that he loves her right in front of my mom. I asked my mom how she felt about this and she just laughed and said it doesn't bother her. But the thing is she doesn't understand he really means it. He has dementia. The strange thing is his brother divorced his wife very late in life for a silly reason which was not true of what he accused her of. And now I am afraid the same thing will happen to my parents as well. Hope someone has an answer for us.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you have online access to his checking account, saving accounts and credit card accounts? Then you can watch for unusual financial transactions. If you are not authorized to speak with bank or credit card issuers, you might want to become one. But it would require his authorization.
He needs to be warned that women online can be men from another country posing as women. This is a one major way that elders are defrauded financially. Can you discus with your father whether any of his online contacts have asked him for a loan or other financial assistance?
I wonder if your father is lonely or socially isolated. Has a friend or family member died recently? Does he go out regularly, such as to church or even grocery shopping?
I see that my very old clients , over 80 years, are often lonely. Thus they try to relieve their loneliness with the means available, such as only dating.
Also has your father been evaluated for Alzheimer's or other type of dementia recently? Urge him to see his physician.
I am glad you wrote about his behavior, it can have serious financial consequences if not caught in time.
Keep us posted about your father as online behaviors or misbehavior safe coo on among those with memory loss.
Definitely find some way to keep an eye on his finances. Not only is scamming rampant, but many sex or chat sites harbor nasty viruses that may provide access to his financial information if any of it, i.e. credit cards or banking, is on his computer.
For him this may all seem like harmless fun, but if he's not careful he can end up in trouble. If he's talking to women (real or not) of his own age, no harm other than the above, but if he thinks he's talking to hot young girls... not only are they likely not real, they might be law enforcement. That would be really bad. :(
You are right to be concerned, regardless of the details. Good luck with this sticky situation and let us know how it unfolds.
I don't have an answer for you but just to let you know that you are not alone. I am having the same problems with my 86 year old father as well. He has verbally told a woman who lives in the same elder care home as my parents that this woman is beautiful and that he loves her right in front of my mom. I asked my mom how she felt about this and she just laughed and said it doesn't bother her. But the thing is she doesn't understand he really means it. He has dementia. The strange thing is his brother divorced his wife very late in life for a silly reason which was not true of what he accused her of. And now I am afraid the same thing will happen to my parents as well. Hope someone has an answer for us.