I know she has some contractures, but it isn't that she physically can't, but that she won't. I know she can because I had her walking just yesterday, but increasingly when I need her to stand by the toilet or the help transfer she keeps her knees bent at a right angle and says she can't stand. Well of course you can't stand if you won't straighten your legs mom!
Wish I knew more. Have you already been instructed in using proper body mechanics for yourself, as well as transfer techniques to save your back and keep the patient safe? Try Youtube?
You will read also that Epsom salts can be taken internally for constipation, but don't do that for your Mom. It would be too harsh. Ask the doctor, the doctors do know how to keep her more comfortable, or the hospice nurse.
Keep her moving gently, as long as possible.
Keep your courage up. We care.
Massage can help. Online recommends stretching to prevent it from getting worse sooner. And the Epsom salts. I take 500 mg. of magnesium to help leg cramps.
So sorry you have this worry and difficulty caring for Mom. Yes, you had her walking yesterday. Keep trying, and don't over-exert her when she can walk. The next day is brutal-three steps back kinda thing. Can she stand in the shower so you can get warm water on her legs? Ten minutes?
Or, ask the doctor if a warm towel can help, but don't use a heating pad on the elderly. They cannot tell if it is too hot, and forget to turn it off. The pain often originates from the lower spine, heat, ice, massage there. (Almost no heat-just warm.)
Balancing the electrolytes is important. For example, bannanas. Or even oral magnesium. These treatments are palliative.
We drew the shape of an adult-sized shoe on brightly colored non-slip cloth and placed it near the foot in the direction of where the patient is headed. Then, the patient focused and went forward. Give the person time, much time. Sounds like the hug would help to get her up.
Using distraction may help. The pain may prevent them from wanting to move.
If they think they have dropped something, they may move to pick it up-and one can use the forward motion to propel them onward. (You would throw or place the object near them without them knowing.) Try placing a silver dollar?
This may not work in your Mom.
Will be looking some stuff up for you which may cover your situation.
Don't give up.
I have noticed that with my cousin, who has dementia, she has progressed to the point were her brain signals don't get to her limbs. She can move her hands and fingers, but she is no longer able to reach into a gift bag to get her gift out. She looks at it. She wants it, but her signals don't work. She can't do it. On some days she may be able to do it, but most of the time she can't. It's funny that way.
I've noticed the same thing about her legs. She is able to move her legs and feet as she propels herself in her wheelchair, however, if you stand her up to transfer or get weighed, her legs are frozen and she is not able to move them. It's like they are jelly and she has no control of them. It's the brain signals that get mixed up. It's not that they don't want to move the muscle and it's not that the muscle is paralyzed. It's that the signal in the brain is not firing right. At least, that's how it was explained to me. Normally, when she is not able to move the way we are trying to get her to move, she gets scared and is unhappy that she has disappointed us. Of course, we reassure her that all is fine and that we got through it together. I can see that eventually, she will not be able to transfer from the chair.
I may soon need to get OT to come in and give us some tips. Or maybe she will soon become altogether bed bound, another one of those lines I said I wouldn't cross.
Pam, I'd never heard of epsom salts in a lotion, I'll have to look for that.
For us, for example, when Coy was stuck sitting on the edge of the bed the best thing to do was stand immediately in front of him and say "give me a hug." He knew instinctively how to do that and as he complied with that I helped steady him and he was standing! He might not know how to lean forward and put some of his weight on his feet, etc. but he did know how to hug! (My son started doing this first, and later I saw Teepa Snow recommend this.)
MAYBE (just maye) you could stand beside her with your arm around her shoulder and say something like "OK Mom, now we are going to the wheel chair" and if she starts to stand use the arm around her shoulder to help her. Maybe. Don't mention standing, or walking, or unbending her knee. Too complicated. Just "here we go" (for something her muscles remember how to do but her brain is confused about.)
This was helpful for LBD. If you try it, let us know if it has value beyond LBD.
It's like the signals that are generated in the brain to straighten aren't making it to the muscles. I don't think it's volitional.