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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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Yes, there are many people who call out or moan. A man in a room close to my MIL called ‘help’ about every 30 seconds for most of the day. The facility’s policy was that all the doors were left open unless there was a visitor, so it was very audible. I don’t think there was anything the facility could do to stop him. In your father’s case, I’m sure they know about it, know that it is not good for other residents (and very off-putting for visitors), and have tried to stop it – though I haven't seen the ‘white noise’ machine option, and that might be worth a try. My MIL did get used to it and mostly ignored it – a bit like living near an airport. It makes you understand why old people don't want to live with 'all those old people'.
When my mom was in skilled nursing rehab facility there were many there who daily cried out for help. I hated walking past them.
One old lady at the nursing home begged me not to leave her as I walked by. It was a horribly depressing place.
I am glad your mom was able to get used to it. I don’t know if I could get used to it. I would leave there and knew it was a mix of pros and cons but hope that I will die before having to live in a place like that.
He is in a shared room? This is one of the unfortunate realities, very often one or more of the people in a shared room disturb the others through no fault of their own - I would be asking the DON what THEY are going to do about it.
My mom’s roommate in skilled nursing rehab facility at the nursing home played the television so loud that I would leave with a headache. It didn’t bother mom because she is hard of hearing too. When they both had the television on I would take mom for a stroll in the wheelchair to the tv lounge area or sometimes the chapel where it was nice and quiet.
Everyday people were moaning, or screaming, “Help me or Don’t leave me!” as I walked by. I hated it. I left depressed every single time I was there.
If he is disturbing others, that's the job of the facility to figure out. But, I would be concerned about my father, if he is doing that. First, I'd confirm that he really does it by some independent process and not just the word of another resident who has dementia. I'd explore if he is not sleeping for some reason. If he is moaning he likely isn't getting his proper rest. I'd discuss with his doctor for a sleep aid. He may not remember what he's doing or feeling during the night, due to his dementia. Based on my experience, there are quite a few people with dementia in Memory care who moan, call out, yell, for no apparent reason. I'd just try to get him relief, if it's disrupting his sleep.
That's so sad, but true. Those dear folks may actually feel better by groaning. It's more for God's ears perhaps, & helping them to find their way to Him. 🌈
Is the facility passing on this info to you? Or does he have a roommate who is complaining? What does the facility say about this? My MIL was in a rehab facility where she heard loud moaning at night and it is very disruptive to sleep and disturbing. I would start by talking to his nurse first, then the admin for help with solutions.
Is he just disrupting his roommate? Or outside of his room?
I can't think of anything to do about his moaning. If he's asleep, he can't control it.
So, would roommate be willing to use earplugs, that you could provide? The foam ones are pretty cheap and would at least mute the noise a bit.
Second idea is for your dad to have a white noise machine, pointed towards the roommate, and put it on a generic setting like a fan that could, again, mute the noise that he's making.
In my mother's rehab unit, they did sedate her (without my knowledge)... Just cuz she was difficult. I guess the Dr uses a 'safety'or anxiety reason in the chart, but it really is partly cuz their shortstaffed, & mother was acting out a lot.
Is your Dad cognitively intact? Does he fall asleep and then wake up moaning? Or is he having difficulty falling asleep? Sometimes persons with dementia cannot identify pain. A study of nursing home patients concluded that pain was often the culprit of disruptive behaviors. So the study examined giving residents scheduled doses of arthritis strength Tylenol. Perhaps trying a bed time dose may work. Nursing home residents also benefited from lavender either in a diffuser or under the pillow. Not too much though! Lastly, how about a cup of herbal tea before bed? Lastly, if he is disrupting other residents, is there a place he can sit near the staff? Or how about wireless headphones so he can watch tv or listen to music until he can fall asleep
Try a CD player with nice, soft music playing. How about a pet? Get a sitter for nighttime. The best one is giving Tylenol as a sleeper because they do hurt and won't admit it, or they think that they are getting a sleeping pill, and they sleep like a log. It requires an order to do this. Also, try a relaxing bath before bedtime, or some warm milk. Just think of how to get a kid to sleep soundly and try that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One old lady at the nursing home begged me not to leave her as I walked by. It was a horribly depressing place.
I am glad your mom was able to get used to it. I don’t know if I could get used to it. I would leave there and knew it was a mix of pros and cons but hope that I will die before having to live in a place like that.
Everyday people were moaning, or screaming, “Help me or Don’t leave me!” as I walked by. I hated it. I left depressed every single time I was there.
Is he just disrupting his roommate? Or outside of his room?
I can't think of anything to do about his moaning. If he's asleep, he can't control it.
So, would roommate be willing to use earplugs, that you could provide? The foam ones are pretty cheap and would at least mute the noise a bit.
Second idea is for your dad to have a white noise machine, pointed towards the roommate, and put it on a generic setting like a fan that could, again, mute the noise that he's making.
Good luck.
Let's hope the roommate is hard of hearing.