He is an alcoholic, 77 years old. Recently got evicted living conditions were disgusting and seems to not bother him. His phone goes to voicemail that he doesn't even have set up so my brother and I can't get a hold of him. He doesn't want to live with either of us because we can't let him live in our homes smoking and drinking all day. I don't want anything bad to happen to him but we just don't know what we can do.
Your father has chosen to ruin his own life, so please don't let him ruin yours.
Al-Anon will help you keep your father and his disease of alcoholism in perspective, and help you learn how to set healthy boundaries, and not enable him.
And when you get the call that something bad has happened to your father(and that call will come)let the state take over his care if he's still alive at that point, and you and your brother get on with living and enjoying this one life you have, as your father Is NOT your responsibility.
Your dad likely doesn't want rehab or a nursing home, but a place where he can hang out and drink and smoke himself to death. I'm sorry you have to witness this, it's not easy.
If your father is adjudged mentally incompetent you can take over or ask the state to take guardianship to place him. But there is little to do with uncooperative alcoholics overall, and I am sure you are dealing with this over time and understand that.
We all die of something. This may be your father's death. I am so very, very sorry, but I think you may be helpless in this.
Please go to AA. If there is help and support in your area you will find out there. They will direct you to Al-Anon meetings. They are overall the smartest and the best informed for your area to support and guide you.
I wish you the best of luck.
Addiction is awful, but in a society where drinking alcohol, ingesting marijuana, smoking, and using drugs of all kinds is accepted and even encouraged by advertising and social mores, it won't go away. Your dad knew the risks. We've all known about them for some time. He chose to do it anyway. After you make that call to APS, you walk away. It's not worth it to deal with hardcore addicts, which is what he is. They don't change.
I'm sorry you're in this situation and wish you the best of luck in putting it behind you.