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He is an alcoholic, 77 years old. Recently got evicted living conditions were disgusting and seems to not bother him. His phone goes to voicemail that he doesn't even have set up so my brother and I can't get a hold of him. He doesn't want to live with either of us because we can't let him live in our homes smoking and drinking all day. I don't want anything bad to happen to him but we just don't know what we can do.

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Call APS and let him become a ward of the state.
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What can you do, other than calling APS and reporting your father and then find an Al-Anon meeting in your area? Nothing.
Your father has chosen to ruin his own life, so please don't let him ruin yours.
Al-Anon will help you keep your father and his disease of alcoholism in perspective, and help you learn how to set healthy boundaries, and not enable him.
And when you get the call that something bad has happened to your father(and that call will come)let the state take over his care if he's still alive at that point, and you and your brother get on with living and enjoying this one life you have, as your father Is NOT your responsibility.
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Keep calling APS to report him as a vulnerable adult. When things get "bad enough" the county social services will put him on track for a court-assigned 3rd party legal guardian who will then get him into a facility and he will get better care than living feral but he won't be able to smoke or drink. But, that's the guardian's problem -- not yours. The "anything bad" that will happen to him is what he has chosen for himself all along: smoking and alcoholism.
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See if you can help him rent a cheap motel room locally. They normally have monthly renters who live there and equip the rooms with hot plates, microwaves etc. That's what we did for my late brother in law who smoked and was an unwelcome houseguest due to his habits. He only had SS to live on but it was enough to pay the motel and buy food and cigs. He lived on a busline that went to Wal Mart where he shopped. He was found dead in the WM parking lot one day where he'd keeled over from bad COPD and died. On his terms and w/o making a nuisance of himself to others.

Your dad likely doesn't want rehab or a nursing home, but a place where he can hang out and drink and smoke himself to death. I'm sorry you have to witness this, it's not easy.
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Bulldog54321 Mar 10, 2025
OP might be responsible for paying for the damage he will do to the room if she pays for his stay. He will pee all over the room etc
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You can call APS, but my feeling is that the outcome of this will be that if he is competent they will likely allow him to do as he pleases. My own city is a mix of massive amounts of homeless, often well up in age, with the mix being about 30-some-% alcoholism, 30-some-% mental illness and 30-some% drugs, with other things such as immigrants from other countries and immigrants from other STATES here because the benefits and services are better to say nothing of the weather.

If your father is adjudged mentally incompetent you can take over or ask the state to take guardianship to place him. But there is little to do with uncooperative alcoholics overall, and I am sure you are dealing with this over time and understand that.

We all die of something. This may be your father's death. I am so very, very sorry, but I think you may be helpless in this.
Please go to AA. If there is help and support in your area you will find out there. They will direct you to Al-Anon meetings. They are overall the smartest and the best informed for your area to support and guide you.
I wish you the best of luck.
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Call APS and inform them of the situation. Give up on helping him yourself. He's destroyed his health, and you aren't responsible for picking up the pieces.

Addiction is awful, but in a society where drinking alcohol, ingesting marijuana, smoking, and using drugs of all kinds is accepted and even encouraged by advertising and social mores, it won't go away. Your dad knew the risks. We've all known about them for some time. He chose to do it anyway. After you make that call to APS, you walk away. It's not worth it to deal with hardcore addicts, which is what he is. They don't change.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and wish you the best of luck in putting it behind you.
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Nothing, something will happen then a decision can be made. You need to move forward with your life, he is living his as he wants to.
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I think something bad will most certainly happen to him if he drinks and smokes all day and won't clean his home or pay his rent. If he is of sound mind and refuses to change his ways there's not a lot you can do. You could call APS to have them do a wellness check. They may not do anything. You could maybe convince him to see a doctor to find out what sort of damage he's done to his lungs, liver, and heart, but he may not want to change his behavior to get himself in better condition. Alcohol addiction is horrible. It doesn't just affect the alcoholic, but the family and friends as well. I suggest you try what you can to intervene, but don't ruin your own life trying to save him.
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