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I see you’re on his main bank account? He got his check yesterday and gave them most of it? Can you intercept the checks on line as soon as they’re deposited and move them to a different account or withdraw it before he can? If you are on his account you should be able to if you keep a close eye on the deposit.
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jjwahl Dec 2019
he writes checks to himself for cash. I alerted the banks ..nothing until the courts give me rights a guardian. This is maddening as hell, I contacted gambler anonymous yesterday, it seems silly but AARP said he likely has an addiction. He wires through Western Union, I notified them and they stalled one wire recently, but he called and gave them a load of yells and they then allowed it to go through.
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My MIL fell for many scams over the last 7 years...and we probably only know about some of them. We were able to intervene and stop a few of them but, after my FIL died, we discovered they were over $50,000. short from what they always bragged that they had in funds. Either MIL was lying about that money or she lost it to Jamaican scammers. The laws are totally unfair because it is almost impossible to get guardianship but, of your parent (s) fall for these scams and lose everything we as the children become financially responsible for them if we live in a Filial Responsibility state. How is this fair??? I am terrified that my husband will become responsible for his 92 year old mother when her funds are all gone (they also lived beyond their means). We have only been married 5 years, his Dad died 1 year ago and it was then we found out about their true financial situation. Honestly, not sure I will stick around if that happens. His mom is a narcissist and a pathological liar. I am really pulling for you and your petition for guardianship. The laws should be changed so that guardianship is easier to get when parents fall for scammers and are losing their money. PLEASE keep me posted if you do progress through the guardianship petition. You can PM me, also. The only thing that may save us from this future with his Mom is that my husband is being evaluated for cognitive impairment. His "big" 4 hour test is in April. Should he be diagnosed he would no longer be responsible for his Mom. It is a lose-lose for me and causing me extreme stress! Good luck to you. I know exactly what you are going through. They are so certain that they are going to win "the big prize."
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jjwahl Dec 2019
Dear lord! What a sad story. My father realizes he is gambling but refuses to stop, he got his check yesterday and gave them all of it and has $30 left until January 1. I live in a Filial Responsibility state but he does'nt. How would that work..I wonder?
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Jjwhl,

I doubt you’re going to get a judge to declare him incompetent at this point. You could spent lots of money on legal fees for nothing.

I went through similar stuff with my elderly parents who were still “With It” but had no executive reasoning whatsoever. My folks even got the grandkids in jail scam and spent an exhausting day driving around withdrawing money from banks until I got wind of it and intervened.

I think the only thing you can do at this point is try and get control of dads finances. And believe me, it ain’t easy. I had to use all sorts of trickery, fibs etc and slowly was able to take over. My only successful argument with them was WHAT IF SOMETHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU ALL? In this way they added me to their accounts and I slowly took over the bills and finances. They each though the other was doing it.

Good luck.
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jjwahl Dec 2019
that's the least I am wishing to get from the courts, I have DPOA and am on his main bank account but he will not allow me to take over. He has about 500 in an annuity, with me a trustee over his trust and I have not been able to stop it thus far. How long was it before you were able to take over? My father lost 30k in less than 1 year to the same scammer.
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I don’t know about guardianship, but in the mean time can you do something to thwart however they are communicating? Take the battery out of his cell phone or get his number changed? Unplug the computer? Hide his credit card? Call the Jamaican Jerk and tell him you’ve turned him in to the FBI and attorney general?
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jjwahl Dec 2019
He gets calls, when I block they use different numbers or my foolish father will just call them.
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My mother, who is 80 and still works a seasonal job and pretty much has all her marbles, has started falling for every single commercial and mail solicitation regarding "helping disabled veterans."

Shockingly (not really) she has become INUNDATED with mail from various "veteran's charities" once she sent a donation to one and is now on the "sucker list." My father is 86 and has his marbles too. He has been unable to stop her nonsense with logic and reasoning, telling her that just because they claim to be legit, doesn't mean they really ARE!

Meanwhile, he gets himself into some sort of jam every couple of months. I've had to stop numerous ridiculous magazine subscriptions that HE has signed up for. One of the book stores had this thing going for a while where they would heavily pressure you to sign up for a "free subscription." They'd get your CC info and depend on you to forget about it when the one year cancellation date rolled around. He has done this several times. He has also fallen for the computer pop-up warning "Your computer has a virus. Call this number and we will step you through the removal."

Why are the elderly so distrustful of their own family, yet will readily give out personal information and money to strangers? It makes no sense. My sister's MIL willing gave her SS and checking acct. numbers to a stranger who called and claimed to be from the bank! This was a woman who otherwise was mentally with it. Thankfully she had a sitter staying with her who immediately called my sister and let her know.
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jjwahl Dec 2019
maybe its the beginnings of dementia? My father doesn't fall pray to anything but this one scammer! How do these situations usually end?
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This will not be easy , I have dealt with this before, in several cases the court has stated that "It is so & so's money and they can do what they want with it". The court wanted more, an evaluation of the persons mental & physical health. sometimes 2 evaluations.

My mother was a Publishers Clearing House fan, I was able to stop her for awhile, but she went right back to it...she was going to win BIG...of coarse it never happened. She basically had all her marbles in one bag, so we children were at a standstill.

She recently had a stroke and is in AL, her mail is coming to my brother, so now it finally has ended.

Young and old alike can get scammed, some people are just easily fooled.
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jjwahl Dec 2019
oh wow, this could be a very expensive and long process and only be stopped by chance? Dear Lord, seems like the courts or the scammers will end up with my fathers money. He has had a group of three evaluate him and I know of one test he nearly scored perfect. The others not so well but not demented. He was just out of hospital and improving on altered state too.
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Not without a fight. You don't have to be demented to be conned by these wretched, blasted, pond-life, scam-artist ratbags.

Have you talked to your father about what's happened? What does he believe is the truth of it?

I always think of my aunt and my mother when this happens. Both graduates, both living well independently, my mother was online and got a polite email from a young nursing student in [country, pick your own Usual Suspect] who needed money to complete her qualification and would be grateful for any donations. And blow me if my mother didn't print this email off, take it round to my aunt (aunt being a doctor, mother thought she'd approve of the young lady's ambition), and between the two of them they were about to chip in fifty pounds. I mean, honestly! - you'd think they were both born yesterday! But they genuinely believed this baloney, and they didn't even stand to win a big prize.

It's amazing what people will allow themselves to believe even in our cynical world; although it's perhaps less amazing that they're very, very reluctant to face up to having been mightily ripped off.
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jjwahl Dec 2019
He initially thought he won so I took him to a local attorney who threatened guardianship, which didn't phase him one bit. Then showed him the notes on the internet saying persons from the number calling are lotto scammers, the man then told my father that he only cares about himself and that he will be out of a job. My father sent more money! He now says that he doesn't know if he won, and has even said he doesn't think so. Sadly, he gives them nearly his entire check. He now has $30 to last him until the first of next month. He tells me its his money and none of my business. He has a heart condition and has been diabetic 2/3s of his life. Is there a medical route or something that will help make him ward of the state? What defenses will he have to keep this up until he is indigent? Its maddening and heart breaking, I say I am done and give up but come right back desperately searching for answers. Petitioning the court deeming him incapacitated seemed to be a nip it in the bud, best and final action but I am afraid it will fail
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