I'm a single Mom (35) with 13yr. & have been care giving/living with my mom for 7years. Its been seven years August. Their have been a lot of ups and downs. Mom had 2 very scary health scares a few yes back, and er docs told me she wasn't going to make it. Scared beyond words but I felt she would survive and thank god she did. I love my mom to pieces but sometimes I really miss having my own place. More space, and privacy. Yet I also feel guilty for wanting it because she needs me, and she quit driving 2yrs ago. I take care of most everything, except she takes care of herself well, and cleans some also. Just feel bit overwhelmed sometimes, but I know I'm in it for the long haul...any tips on how do handle it all? Or just a few encouraging words will be nice. also I am in awe of all some of you do daily, and all you've went thru with loved ones. Angels on earth, my friends......yes indeed.
Have an open conversation with mom and explain that you'd like to have your own space but still be close to her. Offer to move close by and additionally, consider mom's finances, any entitlement support, etc. that would allow you to hire help/assistance for mom a few hours each week. Meals on wheels since she doesn't drive; maybe you continue to have dinner most nights a week with her (at least at first), etc. Senior center bus to pick up mom daily and give her some outside activities and friends to look forward to everyday including lunch (there is usually a nominal $25/year to join).
Visit your local senior center and speak with the director to help you sort out some options for care and assistance for mom.
Be prepared that mom may be resistant and tearful since you have cared/lived together for so long; but try to make her understand that your son is getting older and soon off to college and you'd like to be able to give him "his own home" and alittle more privacy and that you hope she understands. You can always tell her that if it doesn't work out after awhile, you can both sit down again and re-consider.
Don't feel guilty. You are a good daughter and grandson and have provided a wonderful environment beneficial to both of you but you also deserve some privacy and happiness/independence at your age. Don't wake up at 50 and say "what now" or have any regrets that you missed the best years of your life?