This has to do with my 94 year moms passing in March of this year. Now I feel that I have no family left, except a sister in Oregon who didn't care if my mother died or I die and wanted us out of her life. So be it. And I have some cousins that I hardly know on the east coast. I am in the Midwest and have lived in this area for 44 years! Had my career and retired in 2015 and my mother was my only family here. Now that she has passed on, I feel like a total stranger where I live. Anytime I drive around I feel like I don't want to be here anymore as it is all associated with my mother. My friends all live 15 miles north of where I am so I feel very isolated and unwelcomed almost. I don't know how to handle that feeling and what to do about it. An area that I have lived in for 44 years now seems strange and unfriendly to me. Any help will be most welcomed. Thanks!
I know what you mean about associations. After my divorce 7 years ago, I stayed in our house, mostly so that our kids could have that stability and enjoy our very lovely block, with nice neighbors and kids, etc. My youngest is now in 10th grade and the deal with my ex is to sell this house when she graduates. I can't wait. For a long time, I didn't want to move, but now I really want to. While I am "over" my ex, staying here for so long has kept me from fully embracing a new chapter in my life, which I am eager to do.
Sorry - I digress. Of course it is not easy to just pick up and move to a new state, country, whatever. Can you take a trip somewhere for a week or two? It might help the healing/perspective a bit.
Another person we knew, he passed. His sons came to Ohio to sell his home, once it sold they went back to California.
I'm in the same situation, since my mom passed. Cleveland and Ohio don't feel the same anymore. Once I take care of a few things and her estate, Selling the house and moving out West. probably to Seattle.
Good luck to you and Sorry about your mom.
Ignore this question if it's uncomfortable. But I have noticed that in spite of her brutal attitude, your sister does still seem to occupy your thoughts quite a lot. And I wondered: have you spoken to her at all since your mother's passing?
I hear you. I struggle with that aspect of my dad's death as well. I know its shocking to have our beloved mom or dad in our life and then the next moment to realize they have passed. It is very hard to understand. We invested so much time and effort into their care, we just expected them to carry on. I still wish my dad could have remained me with me till he was 100 years old.
Everyone here has given so many kind and gentle suggestions. I'm glad you are considering volunteering. For myself, I still go to work every day. Baby steps is all I can handle. I try the odd class here and there, like Golden has suggested it takes time to make room for new things.
Sending you love and hugs and encouragement during this difficult time.
You need to start making new memories - new places, new experiences, new friends... It takes work and time but you can do it. It is still very soon after your mum's passing. I think you are doing well. Meals on Wheels sounds great!
I hear how you are feeling. Its only natural. Trying to figure out what to do next after caregiving is hard. I have the same feelings. I've lived in the same town all my life. Now that my dad has passed, I feel like quitting my job, selling the house and moving away. I think its hard to make connections at any age. But depending on your interests maybe try a MeetUp group in your area. Joining a book club, or dinner club, taking a few classes if that interests you. There are ways to connect with people so I hope you find something that interests you and go from there. I'm still struggling myself and its been almost 6 months since my dad passed. I think everything just takes time. And a lot is trial and error.
Since my parents passing was recent, and I am an only child with no children, I found I am also getting a connection by doing my family tree. I just signed up on Ancestry.com and I have become obsessed with it :P It's fun learning of my past, the names of my grandparents siblings, and their parents, and their parents' parents and siblings and children.
You can get involved with groups who share your values and beliefs to build more friendships and connections. That takes time but is worth it, I did it about three years ago and have three friends from that. Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide to do. This is a new beginning for you which can turn into something great if you do the work.
When Mom passes, I will finish off all the necessary issues and then I am gone.
Maybe your spirit is telling you it is time to move on to your new life. There are places to go and people to meet. There is lots that needs to be done. Hope you can find the right path soon.