I'm starting to feel the judgement of others of how i'm handling this caregiving chore. They think I should walk away or wonder how I do it, but what are my choices. I don't see anyone stepping in to help or even staying engaged. They have no idea of what emotional toll it is taking.
HUGS TO YOU. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. BE HAPPY YOU HAVE THEM BOTH.
BLESSINGS,
DPRAYS
I don't feel depressed,but I am so tired and exhausted,that I chose to be different this year. I can't get anyone to help me out or at least drop in once in a while and give me a break,so why should I go out of my way (with no strength) to please others. It is not that I'm getting back at them, but I prefer to be at ease,relax and watch TV this year. That doesnt mean I don't love the season and wont wish anyone a Merry Christmas,I just want to relax.
Christmas has always been a time to run around,do the house,shopping etc.etc. and that is not something I am motivated to do with all the hours I must put in with mom.
Therefore, I wish you all a Merry Christmas,a wonderful and healthy New Year and don't feel guilty if you aren't celebrating with others.
All you are doing is being different this year and if you are mourning as I am,(lost 5 relatives in 3 months) the best you can do is have lots of good food and snacks , relax and enjoy the ride. Maybe there will be one good friend who can drop by,but we are family here also and can log in.
It's not a crime to stay home and enjoy your holiday.
This season is a time to reflect what the true meaning is and it is all about the babe in the manjor.
God bless you all..
Cathy
My mother was the pioneer in this family.Took in nephews,nieces,all the family that live in the US now.
Do you think they have ever called me or even bother to visit.Those are the first ones to be at the funeral.
I truly believe that mom won't need me at her funeral.Its all over by then and she had me when she needed me and had diaper rash.
Satin 2 ribbons,I know how it feels to be angry. I noticed it was eating me up and affecting my health and I let it go and gave it to God.I can't afford to be walking around all day angry when I need my strength to take care of my mom.
I know it is not easy,especially when you have seen how wonderful she was with every family member and how much she cared to buy gifts for the holidays.
I know one day we will be old also and what goes around comes around.We can't forget we age too and those that don't truly care will have their compensation when they see themselves in a nursing home and no one goes to visit.I do not wish this upon anyone,but such is life and you do reap what you sow.
I hope we can all forgive these people who have hurt us and think they got away with it.Trust me, they will be taken care of.Just let it go and dont waste your energy on wicked wrong doers.
God bless you all!!
I do appreciate that he called and I know he is a good friend to my dad and wants to be helpful, but on some level I felt like I was being judged. My parents have never been good about keeping things clean, it just doesn't seem to bother them. They are living in a retirement community and have someone who comes in weekly to clean, so mostly their place looks pretty good. However, around Thanksgiving time my husband noticed their refrigerator was a mess, so I did talk to my dad (offered to help) and he ended up cleaning it out. For whatever reason, I didn't see that their chairs needed cleaning.
As for my mom, it's a struggle getting her to change her clothes. It's not that I haven't mentioned it. I've said something about it in front of my dad more than once, but he apparently doesn't notice or doesn't want to argue with my mom.
She's been wearing a ratty old sweater every single day since it's gotten cold. I said something to my dad and he did try to find something, but I guess it was too difficult. So, I managed to find a sweater online for her birthday, which she loves. Of course, she'll wear it every day until summer! (I got her another color for Christmas.)
It doesn't sound like much, but it's exhausting dealing with their stuff and my own. Dad got a new cell phone and I ended up spending a couple of hours this afternoon helping him with that. Dammit, it was even confusing for me!
Anyway, I guess my point is that I'm feeling stressed because I see them getting worse. And having someone else say something made me feel so defensive because I do care about them and I want to help them, but to some extent, I end up backing off because they are managing and THEY get defensive, especially my mom.
So, tonight I'm kind of depressed and I apologize if I used your post to vent about myself.
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