We live in CA where there is no Physician-assisted suicide (as in Oregon & Vermont). Dad has a DNR. He told the Facility [where he lives] that he does not want CPR or to go to the ER ever again. The Home claims that the Paramedics (NOT Dad!) decide if he must go to the ER. Is this true?
Dad is taking 15 powerful drugs whose side effects include headaches, dry mouth, heartburn, nausea, blurred vision. Dad has all of these side effects & he is miserable. They give him Tylenol for the headaches & Prilosec for the GERD, neither of which would be necessary if he wasn't taking these 15 drugs! He said that he has lived a good life and now wishes to die. He is incontinent, cannot walk and cannot feed himself. I feel helpless watching my poor Dad SLOWLY fading away painfully with no quality of life. Meanwhile, his meager savings are being drained by his pharmacies, drug companies, medical supply companies (aka, the Medical Industry). This is not right...or humane.
I was shocked to hear that none of Dad's medications have been tested on older people! In my opinion, the drug companies are using fragile seniors as their alpha testers. In other words, Dad has become a little white lab mouse for the drug companies. Is this why the Medical Industry wants to keep seniors alive beyond their natural years?
Dad is on Kaiser, which is a great Plan for young people because it focuses on preventive care. But Kaiser admits that gerentology is not one of their strengths. Doctors are trained to CURE people; my Dad cannot be cured. So Kaiser put him in HOSPICE. When he did not die in 6 mns, he was removed from the program. I am ashamed of my country's unwillingness to deal honestly with the issue of dignity and a Good Death for a generation of people who built our powerful middleclass with their strong work ethic. These people fought in two wars for their country and only ask for decent care and attention to their end-of-life wishes. Can we talk about these issues?
I am Dad's trustee, Power-of-Attorney, his trusted advisor, and his loving daughter. But I am 73 years old with medical issues of my own. This is a case of the Old-Caring-for-the-Old, which seems to be the standard side effect of the current research to keep humans alive indefinitely. Seems that no one wants to ask the hard questions: "What is the purpose of keeping people alive beyond their natural life?" "What will happen when 120 year old seniors run out of money?" "Is this tinkering with the natural cycle of Life & Death even ethical?"
In answer to your first question, the Paramedics do not decide, if you have all the necessary paperwork in place stating that your Dad has a DNR in place. It should be posted by his bed. Does he have a medical directive in place? Can you get the doctor to sign off on a POLST form, which very specifically states what should be done in case of an emergency? Most doctor's offices have them. I don't understand why he was taken off hospice. It's an evaluation every 6 months, but if his condition has not improved, he can stay on hospice. It sounds like you are getting some wrong information. Is your father's lung cancer still considered terminal or has his condition changed? Do you have Power of Attorney? If so, you can consult with his doctors. Unfortunately the medical system is not always in alignment with the patient's wishes, but it's important to remember that your Dad has free will. I'm not saying he should stop taking his medications, but it sounds like he needs someone to be a strong advocate for him and get some straight answers from his doctors. Best of luck. I'm happy to continue this conversation with you.
For example, my dad AND mom were on Lipitor for cholesterol. I think docs prescribe those like candy. When you hit 60, you get Lipitor. I'm pretty convinced it helped my mom's loss of short-term memory. By the time you reach your 90s, my attitude is screw cholesterol! So I took my mom off of hers years ago and she's heading towards 94 and still in independent living (with a LOT of help from me). And my dad stopped his and his other meds and still lived comfortably for a year with his terminal lung cancer.
And my dad refused to go to the ER one time when he fell, so at least here in Illinois, the patient determines whether to go to the ER or not. If you have POA, I'd get a bit feistier with the facility where your dad lives about honoring his wishes. Is your dad in California? My brother and his wife (in CA) have Kaiser, that's why I ask. I'd be surprised if CA doesn't honor patient wishes.
I agree with what you say about our seniors living too long with poor quality of life. My mom says it all of the time. She's ready to go, but still has a relatively healthy body for her years.
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