I feel like I've been carrying the load, trying to care enough for her lack of caring for herself, but I can't do it anymore, it hurts too much. I feel so guilty. I just want her to move out of my house so I don't have to hurt anymore. She can take care of herself to some extent, but she refuses. So, then she just expects that I should do everything. I just can't do it anymore. She's on depression medication, but it doesn't seem to matter. She's agreed to move out into an apartment, so she can live the life she wants to live. I feel so guilty.
Unlike you, I have no option, there's nowhere for Mother to go.
Best to you on your journey,
Hap
I understand where you are coming from on this one. My Mother is the very same way, although, recently she has become almost blind, which adds more to the responsibilities. I have trouble understanding why she is so defiant, combative and hateful being in such a state as she is in, I suppose it is to let the world know she is NOT going to completely give up her independence. I try to put myself in her position, which I am a very independent person, but I cannot fathom the thought of defying a family member who would be extending their hand to help me if I needed assistance.
All I can say is, don't feel guilty about her leaving, just let her go and know things will eventually work out like they are suppose to. It is going to be impossible for you to keep a controlling eye on her after she moves out, so, you HAVE to allow what happens with this decision, just happen. You can't sit and worry about her. All you can do is let her know you will be there if she needs you.