My 83yo father in law has recently come to live with our family. Over the last 6 months he had been sick hospitalized 3 times. He has Diabetes, chf, kidney disease and glaucoma . He is extremely independent and sharp mentally he just stopped working full time 2 years ago. His balance is off and he had a recent unexplained pass out spell. His Dr's told him driving is not safe be he refuses to listen. He won't shower, or get up to urinate in the bathroom, he's ruined the carpet in daughters room. I'm returning to work next week and I'm truly concerned about his well being. His body is not physically up to participate with his mind and is hard.
After six years of "driving Miss Daisy and her husband [my Dad]" in a heavy traffic metro area, couple months ago I had to drop 90% of my driving because I was having serious panic attacks while behind the wheel. Thank goodness my office is less than 2 miles from my home so I can still work.
I am an only child with no children, so there is no one to pass the car keys unto. My sig other helps out when he can but with his high stressed job he cannot take time off to run my parents here or there.
Now my parents look at me and say "who is going to drive us?". I usually answer "who is going to drive me when I am your age? Oh wait, I will be living in a retirement village that has transportation." The hint never sinks in.... [sigh]
Explore other transportation options. Taxis, senior vans and delivery services may be options. As FF says, do not offer to become his transportation system.
When I divorced and remarried 12 yeas ago at age 49, I realized that I was probably buying a place to live that would need to last until my dotage. I live in an elevator building with handicap accessibility. I live one block from an accessible subway station . I have grocery and pharmacy that deliver nearby and a hospital a block away.
I have three wonderful adult children, but as adults, we need to plan for our own futures.
If your FIL can safely get from point A to point B, let him keep driving or you will become his wheels. That happened to me with my parents who stopped driving, good heavens my parents wanted to leave their house 2 to 3 times a day, yes per day. Mom wanted to go to 3 different grocery stores because each one had a sale on something. And all the doctor appointments. I used up all my vacation days at work, all my sick days, and days without pay to drive my parents. It became exhausting for me to a point I now rarely drive at all :(
It's something to think about.