I think it's time for my mom to get help with her housework. She has moderate dementia. She lives in an apartment attached to our house. It's obvious that she can no longer handle cleaning her apartment and it's more than I can manage. I have my own house, my 4 cats, her cat my husband and his uncle living with use. It will take some convincing but I'd like to have someone come in once a week or so and give her apartment a good cleaning. I am wondering if people generally just hire a maid service or if they use some elder in home care service.
I used to clean for my mom. It became an exercise in futility, as she would simply go out to the trash and retrieve everything I had thrown away, right down to the vacuum bag, She is a hoarder and keeps EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! It was a joke. Now my 15 yo niece is supposedly cleaning for her, but does a terrible job.
I have not cleaned for mother for 5 months. I don't intend to even try again. She was not appreciative and actually got quite angry at times. (Conversations like this: "Mother, do you really need a dozen vases? They are all out on the countertop, taking up space"...."Yes!! I NEED them all!" "Do you have to keep six month's worth of newspapers?" "Absolutely! We may have to burn them for fuel" "Do you HAVE to keep 6 month's worth of used "sharps" (in unsafe containers) where small hands can get at them?" "Yes!!! I take them to a special place to be destroyed (the pharmacy)".."May I please take down the Christmas Cards from 2011?" 'NO!! I want to see them everyday!"
Her mother always had a maid. Mother bemoaned the fact that SHE never could afford one (6 kids, we all were her maids!) I think now she might love it. I won't pay for one, but I may run this by my brother with whom she lives. And I would encourage the maid to take the trash to another receptacle.
My parents were fully function, still drove, still cooked and did light cleaning but the tasks like scrubbing floors and toilets and the like was beyond their ability. They hired a maid service once per month to do a deep cleaning. This was enough to keep the place lovely. They found a local service and the same two ladies come every month for about 2 hours, and do a really spectacular job. They totally clean both bathrooms, the kitchen, scrub the floors, dust, vaccuum and clean the windows.
I am thankful this was set up for them when it was. When my mother passed unexpectedly, leaving my father, who has alzheimers, alone, he would not have consented to such a thing alone. But since it has been happening for years now, he welcomes the girls in, sits in his room while they clean, and pays them when they leave (even tips lol). I'm very thankful for them. I can barely keep my own house livable.
Angel
I watch my sister in law have 45 minute discussions on the thermostat in her Mom's apt. It drives me NUTS. If it is too hot, lower it, too cool, raise it. If a dementia suffer-er could focus and make decisions, they wouldn't be diagnosed with this disease!
If your mom has difficult behaviours or you foresee the need for a higher level of care in the near future you should consider using an elder caregiver. If she has someone she has already bonded with it may be less of a battle to accept personal care, meal prep etc.