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Depends are expensive any alternative's? How do I engage her mind more? Thank you so much for helping.

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Stop trying to get her to eat Depends. (Sorry, I just couldn't resist. I have a tendency to use humor to lighten my load.)

We buy mom's Depends at Sam's Club. $30 for 54 of them. *shrug*

When mom's not eating, I give her VERY small meals...maybe more often. Like maybe a hardboiled egg. Period. Or add a piece of toast. Or an itty-bitty amount of chili in a small bowl. Later one of her favorite cookies. I think "kick-starting" her appetite this way is better than setting a big plate in front of her that overwhelms her senses.

In the end, I don't worry about it. If her body is beginning to shut down, permanently or temporarily, it's just nature's way. We can't turn water into wine.
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1. Make the foods she likes.
2. Use the washable pads.
3. Engage her with music from her era.
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My Mom likes sweets...so...I fix things that are good for her and high in calories and also combat the Alzheimer's instead of making it worse.
Breakfast: 2 pieces 100 % whole grain toast...with...2 tablespoons coconut oil per piece...sprinkle on a bunch of cinnamon...then a teaspoon of Welch's Natural Grape jelly (no high fructose corn syrup)...either 1/2 ripe cantaloupe cut in pieces or a whole beef steak tomato cut in pieces. 2 full glasses chocolate protein milk...I got the the MuscleTech brand (3 lb bag) at Sam's for around $35...which is $1.14 a day since I make 2 servings for her. Each serving is 120 calories at 35 grams whey protein...and then add the whole milk...150 cal a cup and she drinks 4 cups...840 calories in 2 glasses. I also started mixing the protein powder in plain yogurt...she loves that too. Be sure to mix the powder in a small amount of water prior to mixing with milk or yogurt or you'll get a clumped up mess instead of a smooth shake.
Lunch can be anything but I make sure it is what my Mom has always liked to eat...dinner same thing...sometimes she has the toast all day.
Try to notice what things or types of textures your Mom likes and dislikes and tailor her meals according to that.
I don't serve her big portions...it overwhelms her when she sees it...so I put maybe 2 tablespoons of each item on her plate...this way...she feels more in control and if she wants more...she can have it. She sometimes forgets we have eaten...so...I just make another plate with the same small portions and the food bill gets stretched...Mom is eating...and everyone is happy.

As far as engaging her mind...try and think of things your Mom used to do...as an example...I wash and dry the laundry...when I leave it on her bed...my Mom folds all of it and puts it away. It may not get in what I would call the proper place and it doesn't matter...I always thank her for helping me and I've learned to play hide & seek...I know the clothes are somewhere and I will find them.
I also do the same thing with dishes...wash and let them air dry in the sink...my Mom will put them away. Sometimes in the microwave...or oven...or a different cabinet...but I know where to look...and I thank her for being such a big help.

Just an FYI...the microwave is not plugged in...neither is the toaster...I've removed all the knobs from the stove and keep one in my purse...and the oven is electronic and too complicated for my Mom to figure out...so no threat of a fire...

Also...have the newspaper delivered on a daily basis and maybe a magazine or two...my Mom loves to read and will read the paper to me...sometimes the same article 2 or 3 times in a row...I respond each time as though I'm hearing for the first time...and we discuss what she's read and I ask her opinion.

Good luck...as far as the depends...she won't wear them...she does occasionally wet the bed...and so I've purchased 3 waterproof bed protectors and know to change the linens every day...unless the bed is dry...and then that's a bonus! I let the pads air dry and this saves a lot of time.

I never make mention of the bed wetting...I like to keep my Mom's dignity intact. I just say that it's laundry day!
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Use red plates- this simplistic switch jump started my mom's next-to-nothing appetite. Studies have shown this works in restaurants to make the meal more appealing to customers. Also, fix "power shakes with Ensure Plus, banana(including skin) coconut oil, and whey. This will provide her with an 800 calorie delicious addition to her diet. My mom asks every day for one and she doesn't ever ask for any other types of foods. She loves it and likes the phrase "power shake". Good luck.
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Maggie! LOL! Eating depends, got to admit I thought the same when reading this post!

Look into other brand of disposable briefs. I order a case at a Tim online from Amazon for about $52.00 which save significantly over grocery store types. Plus offers the additional convenience of free, to the door, delivery. Or as PS said, order fabric ones that can be washed, also available on Amazon. Personally, I would not want the rinsing and washing of reuseable diapers, especially for adults.

Engagement, get a decent quality portable stereo. They are getting very small. Play music from her younger days. Get her an iPod that you can load her favorite music and keep her entertained for hours. Google "Alive Inside, A Story of Music and Memory" to see the miraculous changes in those with Alzheimer's when listening to music. I imagine you could do without the iPod, but it offers a way to filter out background noise and activity, making concentration easier.
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Look into ParentGiving for deals on Depends, also Costco. I give my mother a little bit of wine (2 oz) and that helps her appetite. My mom likes to read so I get her Time magazine and her caregiver reads the paper to her. Also photo albums, she could go through those again and again.
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You are so funny..made me laugh...when my mom was done to eating 1/2 a cup of yogurt my nearby sister got her those nutritional shakes and added ice cream and heavy cream...with the doctor's suggestions...it helped allot to also divert her attention..when we would drive out of state to visit,we would buy lottery tickets,the scratch off type..she would scratch and eat and not realize she was eating...good luck
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I have been buying the store brand of disposable briefs from CVS. We tried various other store brand and these seemed to be the best. Sign up to get an ExtraCare card and register it online. Quite often I get sent coupons for 20-30% off their brand. It isn't good if they are on sale, but it usually goes out to less. Also, I have often combined the % off coupons with $5 off $20 or various other denomination CVS coupon with it. You can also use the $ off amount on sale items. Make sure you scan your ExtraCare card at the store kiosk when you walk in. They often give me coupons for Depends or their brand since I buy them often. CVS is great about combining offers. Read the fine print. And, look for the bonus packs of their brand that are often on the shelf where you get a few more briefs for the same price.
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I keep cut up fresh fruit that my dad likes in the frig where he forages like a bear. He loves strawberry slimfast, and power crunch protein bars which are like waffer cookies. I also give him a cut up boiled egg with a big spoon of Veganase Mayo/reduced calorie and sprinkle bacon crumbles on this. He loves bacon and mayo. I give him one high fiber toast with maple sugar each day for his pooper. He also gets sobe coconut water drink (he was consuming a lot of these for a while and I think it made him poop more often, a problem), and some Gwater from gatoraid (he won't drink plain water). I keep these bits of food coming to him every hour or 2, so if he does not eat a meal, I know he has had enough protein and fluids. After dinner, when he finishes, he gets a really good treat, ice cream or cake, doughnut, etc.
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Regarding eating, remember that our elders aren't exercising, running up and down stairs, mowing the lawn, doing housework, etc. so they don't need as many calories as we do.

My parents still live independently, and it seems like their grocery order is half what I order.... I use to worry about it but not any more... but Mom sure orders a lot of Little Debbie snacks, pies, ice cream and cookies. I figure they are in their mid-90's, I am not going to recommend they change their diet.
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