Allright, after I posted last week about trying to get my mom some help she got an inheritence check froom her sister and brother in laws estate. It's a goodly sum, it could relieve some of the burden that has been on her for the last few years about having not more than a very meager SS check and a small stipend from her volunteer job. The check has sent her into a downward tail spin. She's done nothing but be very negative and cry most of the week along with again being very needy and demanding.
Tonight we had a couple of scenes at my brothers house over a couple of things that she insisted were lies and she doesnt believe. One was that the bank would not let me cash a chasiers check made out to her even though she tried to sign it over to me. I deposited into her account, I dont need the aggravation or the sceen if I went with her to the bank for them to explain.
Nontheless, tonight my skeptical sister in law saw my moms erratic behavior. She's in a nursing program and she's been working with seniors on her current rounds and she's experiencing things she never believed were true with the care of the elderly. Anyhow, she asked if I thought I could get my mom to a family therapy meeting if she could find a counselor. I think she would go. She really wants to rectify and fix what is broken between her and I. I want to know what the possible outcomes could be if she loses it in a session with no known POA or anything in place. What do you guys think?
Oh and the check she was trying to sign over to me was because she'd been bullied into buying a 4 thousand dollar vaccum and couldnt make the payments and I've been making them for the last two years or so. I couldnt get her out of the contract becuase she didnt tell me till 3 or 4 months after it happend. I dont want or need the money but she's been insistent on paying me back.
Are the issues you want addressed between you and your mother only and/or primarily, or are the other family members involved as well? Are these issues such that discussing them jointly might embarrass your mother, put her on the spot and make her feel uncomfortable?
Have you tried to resolve these issues before, just between the family members?
My gut feeling is that drawing an elderly woman into a group setting might make her feel pressured and/or picked on and produce no positive results. She might feel "ganged up on."
I would think over what's been tried in the past, what worked and what didn't, before agreeing to the meeting.
My other question would be whether an independent social worker or some other professional would be involved, which could change the family dynamics.
If she would go for a medical evaluation, I think I'd put that ahead of counseling, although family counseling could also be helpful, especially if the counselor knows her diagnosis (whatever it turns out to be).
A POA is good to have in place. What is holding that up? And I don't see how that is related to counselling. Why is she more apt to "lose it" under the guidance of a professional counselor than in everyday life?