When I get home I have to go to sleep right away and sleep for hours. I dont understand why this is happening or what to do about it. I cannot quit helping her so thats not the answer. I do not know how to fix this problem. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I am afraid I am going to get into a car accident! yesterday I actually got sleepy on my way to her house as well as getting really bad on the way home.....help?
First, you are exhausted. It is very overwhelming. Sleeping can be a sign of depression. Those of us dealing with difficulties with aging parents often fall into depression. It's part of the grief at loosing them when still alive. Find a good Psychologist who specializes in Geriatrics. Mine has helped me immensely! If not a Geriatric specialist, go to a generalist. I faced the same dilemma and have only made it through with support. It's not you! It's the situation.
But what I also want to suggest that you may be suffering some type of mild depression yourself. See your doctor and let them know how you feel. It's OK to send some time on yourself.
Peace out,
-SS
Can someone ride with you? How long is the ride?
When I moved my mom from her home of 50+ years to IL and we would stay at the house, there was alot of odors associated with everything at the house. Not nasty but more like old rancid oil or wet animal. Our clothes, luggage would smell of the house when we left - we would all get headaches & have unusual fatigue & our son would get ecezma after the 3rd day.
Turns out there was a gas leak at stove. So CO2 check is a very good idea. Also I just didn't realize that there were years and years of old dead skin cells in the house as it was rarely opened up - so the odor was really embedded in the house especially in anything fabric. I pulled out all the wall-to-wall and got rid of all the old drapes, rugs, linens and only kept those that could be hot water washed. Febrezed & renuzit on every visit in and left 3 windows slightly open. Took about a year for the smell to go away. No more headaches or skin irritations since.
Did the same for her clothes and linens at her IL.
As an fyi, the smell of grapefruit is processed by our brains
as "young", "fresh". So look for that scent to use if there's
an old lady smell lingering from your visits.
When you're driving you might want to have hard candy like Jolly rancher sour apple to keep yourself busy, maybe a book on tape, or get a tin or wasabi peas for a snack - those will perk/zing anyone up.
If everyone's suggestions don't seem to make a difference, then perhaps you should get a check up as you could have a thyroid or other metabolic condition. Good luck
Are you eating healthy food or junk food all of the time?
Do you wake up refreshed in the morning or half asleep still?
Do you have to be the person who does all of the helping for your mother?
What are you doing to take care of you?
Also, your tiredness could be depression and you might be masking it by staying busy with everything. It might be a good idea to see a therapist about all of this stress because about all a doctor can do is give you a pill which might in fact help until you can find some ways to get some balance back into your life.
So I always make it a point to stop and get a coffee and a small treat to eat on the way home.
I also have a book player and I will try to play an interesting book on the way home.
If this is effecting you driving home safely, you may need to limit your time with her or arrive at a different time of day. Dozing off at the wheel will not do you or your mom any good. take care
Mom is on the waiting list at a very good memory care facility. I have already imagined that the weekend after she moves there, I am going to sleep and not get up for hours!!
My grandmother's taste leaves much to be desired, there is nothing visually stimulating for me in that room. Her oxygen converter runs all the time and there is a droning hum to the background noise that is oddly restful, so auditory stimulus runs towards boring white noise. Gran is also light sensitive now, so the room is kept darkened except for a lamp which shines ONLY on the book that she may choose to read. The blinds are usually lowered so it is oddly tomb-like in that room and always stuffy and warm, Gran is ALWAYS cold. If this isn't a recipe for narcolepsy...I don't know what is. Grandma's routine is also boring beyond words.
All of this is comforting to her. Her favorite things, the warmth, and the lack of startling painful sunlight. To me it is a recipe for Vitamin D deficiency and total mind numbing boredom. I know I'm just suffering from having to observe and become part of someone elses routine.
Sometimes I have to just go outside and walk around the house a few times.
For you, if it isn't any of the above types of things that may numb your senses, have you thought of having the CO2 levels in the home checked? Is there anything wrong with your car?
Many caregivers do get tired because they are spread that thin taking care of their own needs, their immediate family needs, and their parents needs. That is a bunch of needs.
It may be time to check with your doctor to see if there is any other reason for your sleepiness. Falling asleep at the wheel would be a disaster.
Take care! HB