He won't get tested, but I found last year in his computer, where he was getting emails about dementia and memory loss. He took his life insurance policy that he's paid on all his life and cashed it in for $16,000.00. He did not need the money. He has plenty. What would make him do such an odd thing. He's 80 years old and it was worth 1/2 million dollars. I have one brother, a little older, who works at the family business. He did not find this peculiar at all. Has anyone ever had to battle the whole family because their mother changed her Last Will and testament, knowing that he was having dizzy spells and showing signs of mental slippage? Any advice or encouraging words would help. 🙏❤️😇
People can act W E I R D when confronted with something as terrifying as illnesses, dementia, and the eventual loss of the parent they've depended on. Not everybody responds to this with calm ration, understanding, sympathy, and good will. It is shocking and disappointing that blood kin can turn into vicious cannibals under this kind of stress. It happens all the time.
Seems to me that you need an experienced attorney in this. Execute mom's will according to the law of the land and "Durn the Torpedos". It may very well be that you need to step away from the family fury for a time to let people calm down, protect your own well being, and wait for the right time for healing.
Talk to the attorney about options for the family business, if you have any stake in it, or if you need to walk away from it and be thankful you have what you do. It may very well get run right into the ground and that will be sad. You can't change other people, but you can control your participation in the crazy. You can limit contact with toxic people. You can do things that restore your soul and stability, safeguard your health and happiness.
In our family, we have had to let people completely go because of bad decisions, hard feelings, grudges, and manipulation. Never what anybody dreams of, but there were other relationships and people more important than trying to hang onto what was irreversibly broken. Peace in our home, harmony in our own family, and protecting our own interests were greater than any potential inheritance, finding justice to balance the bad things that happened, or pursuing any more legal actions.
Sending positive vibes and check back in to keep us updated on how it's going!
This is a difficult situation, to be sure. You say you've lost your son. Will he not continue having a loving relationship with you?
Can you go with your parents to a doctor's appointment with the idea of having Dad tested for dementia? There are simple tests that the doctor can do and he might not even realize that he's being evaluated, but they can also do a brain scan if warranted. If Dad is having dizzy spells, that is probably not related to dementia and should be addressed. Especially if he's still driving. As far as your brother goes, he may be the type of person who needs more solid proof. Since he works at the family business, he's in a good position to keep an eye out for things on that front. Good luck and take a deep breath. This is a marathon, not a sprint.