My dad has dementia but has been functional for the past 3 years. He has lived alone and done relatively well. In the last 2 months he has declined rapidly. Bills aren't getting paid and he is often overwhelmed and confused. He puts on a brave face to try to prevent anyone from seeing his struggles. He lives about 240 miles from me and I have been trying to get him to move to a senior facility closer to me, but he doesn't want to live in a "big city". His neurologist and I know he just doesn't want to give up his independence. I know it is best for him to move, but is very resistant - even to the point of telling me he will "off" himself if he gets bad enough to go into a "home". Things in the last 3 weeks have declined rapidly and i know it is time. How do i talk to him to get him to agree to move?
Can someone from the facility describe it to him? If it's an actual "nursing home", and he is still kind of OK, that would be hard - to go to a shared room and a hospital bed. Can he go to assisted living? That would be a much easier sell - his own room, his own furniture, etc.
Tell him how often he would see you. Can you take him on excursions he would enjoy? Are there adorable grandchildren for him to get to know?
Tell him that if he can't stand it after 6 months, you will take him to an assisted suicide state. You can lie about that part. I can understand his point of view. Let him know that you understand, too, and that you will do your best to see that he has a nice, safe, enjoyable place to live, because you want him to be safe and happy.
I don't envy you. My father had terminal cancer, and when he stopped sleeping for more than two hours at a time, he moved into a hospice home. He told me he was being taken off to jail. Talk about guilt. But they had fresh-cooked spaghetti sauce there, and they probably did a better job keeping him comfortable than I could.