My father is 91 and lives with my sister. He is very verbally abusive to my sister and I and he refuses to help pay for any of his needs. How can we get him in an assisted living home and out of her house. Her health is declining because of his needs.
Has he been checked for a UTI? - have him checked A.S.A.P. - have EMS take him & don't let him back for your sister's house for her sake
My mom could be very combative at times. She has Alzheimer's and believes nothing is wrong with her. I hired a geriatric care manager to move mom for me It was worth every penny. They will provide the guidance and resources that you need.
Regarding Assisted Living, usually they are self-pay unless one's State has a Medicaid waiver program. Assisted Livings on average cost around $5k per month. Now Medicaid will pay for a skilled nursing home but only if Dad is deemed ready for 24 hour care and is unable to do things for himself. If Dad is self-pay, cost average $10k per month depending on your area. Talk about sticker shock !!
As for Dad helping pay for his needs, your Dad grew up as a teenager in the Great Depression, thus he will hold onto every penny no matter what. My parents were that way to a point, but if I paid for something that they needed, they did pay me back. They just didn't want to open their wallet for caregivers or cleaning crews... [sigh].
Click on the button that says "Find Care" at the top of this page and put your location - state or county/state - and that will send you to the following:
About Area Agencies on Aging
Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) are local aging programs that provide information and services on a range of assistance for older adults and those who care for them. By contacting your local agency you get access to critical information including:
Available services in your area:
Mobility assistance programs, meal plans & housing
Assistance in gaining access to services
Individual counseling, support groups and caregiver training
Respite care
Supplemental services, on a limited basis
Good luck to you. Do it sooner than later and take care of YOUR health, finances, career and relationships. ((Hugs))