Need to get mom in NH ASAP. Dr. told her we need to have evaluation done and she refuses. She doesn't sleep at night. Won't sit still. And wanders terribly and is so confused. Any suggestions as to how to get the ball rolling without temper tantrums and kicking and screaming all the way? We can't go on like this anymore and need to keep her safe. She actually found an old iron yesterday and we smelled something burning! We thought we had the house "dementia" proofed. I guess we were wrong.
My cousins had to prevail upon her doctor to have her put into a state mental hospital, which they said was surprisingly nice - clean, quiet and the staff took good care of her. She apparently calmed down quite a bit and after about a month, they were able to have her transfered to a "regular" nursing home.
She died 5 months ago but the family all assure me that she was happier after entering the state hospital and seemed to almost be her old self in the last facility.
I would suggest, if I may, that her Doctor explain to her that she must, for her own well-being, enter some facility for evaluation and care. Maybe her doctor, or even a new doctor if she'd accept one, would be better equipped to convince her.
I wish you all the best, I know what you're going through and whatever you do you'll probably never think you did the right thing but unfortunately there is, for most of us, no easy way to care for our terminally ill loved ones.
I have had many bad experiences with the day-care center where I managed to have my wife (dementia/Alzheimer's) enrolled.
They seem to listen, they make promises "I'll get back to you" and about half the time 2 - 3 weeks go by until either I call them and upset them or they finally actually do get back.
I've tried working through an Ombudsman (state agency) but they seemed to lean more towards making excuses or accepting mis-information (lies?) from the day-care center management.
Sorry for the negativity but - - - - - - that's been my experience.
Luvmom
I understand that doctors and medical staff become overburdened and overworked, but for a caregiver to be met with flippancy and a lack of caring just adds to OUR burden. I get tired of being "reffered" to specialists etc....it is just a way of passing the buck.
Added to your dilemna is an uncooperative and confused parent. Have you asked the social worker if someone could visit in your home and evaluate your Mom? It might be less stressful that way. Is there a family member, friend, or clergy member who calms her and she responds well to? Even though you are doing what is best for her, sometimes the parent sees the caregiver as the "enemy" who wants to "put them away." Is it possible to have a paid caregiver, that specializes in Alz care, to come in temporarily to give you respite as you get this figured out?
I do not think that it is a good idea to take your Mom "kicking and screaming" into any situation. It will just add to the trauma for both of you.