The thing that gets me as my grandma was dying, my sisters were sending me disturbing messages about her house and her money but she didn't even pass yet. Blaming me for them not coming around in years!!! In fact, one sister thought I was trying to kill her. My gram at 101 age stopped eating completely. I tried everything, but she was preparing herself. I mean she was dying and everyday I died with her. I wasn't just her caregiver for 9 years but her granddaughter and best friend. Before she drifted into a coma state, she said "she loved me and God Bless me!" I hated to watch her die right before my own eyes. I couldn't do nothing but love her until the end. I wasn't in her room when she passed but I wonder why she went alone without me by her side. I mean I been by her side for 9 years. I miss and look for her all the time.
How wonderful that that you were by her side for 9 years— that is what is important, and that you were her best friend too. What a lucky woman she was to have you! You were the incredible grandchild we all dream we could have - and your relationship gave her heaven on earth.
As far as your greedy family, the story is that of the Little Red Hen. These stories were written for a reason—these people are everywhere—and the explanatory lesson helps us recognize them and cope with our disappointment. The cat, the dog and pig refuse to come around and help, but all think somehow they should share evenly in the “bread” in the end.
They can fight and point fingers and cry and fuss. They feel guilty. They are blaming you because they can’t take responsibility for the pain they have wreaked on themselves. You would have welcomed the support that they refused to give. You needed them as much as your grandma did, maybe even more.
Don’t waste any more time concerned with them. They were intentionally absent when you needed helo .
Many of us have lived through this identical (painful) scenario. We understand your justifiable hurt and confusion. Spend your time honoring the memory of your grandmother instead.
At at the end of the day, you can put your head on your pillow and rest, knowing you did the right thing. That is something they will never know.
You are hurting because you lost your best friend. Grief of someone so dear can even be physically painful. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Your grandma would want you to feel her love -and now you need your best friend to help you through this deep pain and she is not here and you feel abandoned. She would never have left you if she had any choice. Her body continued twenty years beyond all expectations - you were part of that miracle.
The energy of her love did not disappear. It is all around you. Let her love shield you now.
She lived longer, better and happier because of you. Feel her warmth, her presence and her guidance as you navigate your grief.
You were there when it mattered the most, take heart knowing that for 9 years you were with her and you guys were best friends.
I would let the executor of the will deal with your siblings.
As hard as it is do not give their words any space in your head or heart. They are non existent until they can behave like decent human beings.
Hugs, I am sorry for your loss. May God grant you grieving mercies and peace during this time.
Many slip away when they are alone. It’s like they are waiting for that opportunity. I treasure my last “I love you”. You hold that tight and let the siblings chatter. It’s just noise. They don’t know what they don’t know. Let grandma go. You will miss her but let her know you are strong and you will be fine. One more hug. It just takes time.
Please, don't allow your siblings to get to you. Be better than them. Hopefully, one of Grandma's children was made Executor. Not sure how ur siblings think they are entitled to anything as Grands.
Sibling stuff can be weird when a LO passes away. Especially if there's some who are looking for their piece of the pie. Let the executor do their thing with the will and let yourself continue to heal for the time.
Some things you just have to let go. Bothered me for years that I missed her actual passing (I was 10 ft away but asleep). I am ok with her wishes now.
I am sorry for your loss. You are very lucky to have had that kind of relationship with her. You should take comfort in that and I bet your grandma would tell you to get off your butt and live your life. She won't want you to ponder over her! Make her pround! She knows you love her!
Hugs!!
I was with my dad in the hospital day and night after his stroke, for 6 days. I wasn’t getting any rest and finally decided to stay at a friends house for one night. He was stable. I got a call at 4:45 am that he was close. I got there at 5:10 am and he had already passed. That wasn’t how I wanted it to happen.
I was a hospice nurse and I’ve seen patients do that. They wait (I believe) until the family is gone, then pass. It’s like they wanted it that way.
Maybe it’s a private thing. Maybe they are “sparing” us the heartache of watching them die. We will never know in our lifetime.
The main thing with your grandma and my dad is they knew we were there all along. We didn’t leave them alone. They just happened to be without anyone in the room at the time of their passing. She knew you were there for her.
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved grandma. But she would want you to keep on going as you work through your grief.
Big 🤗 hugs to you. Keep her memory alive with remembering your good times together. It will become less painful as time goes on.