This has been going on for about 4 days. He refuses to go to the hospital and the EMT said he can not take him if he refuses. The past 2 days he has refused to eat or take his meds. I don't know what to do for him. His doctor can not see him until the 30th. What do I do?
I was going to ask whether this is a bowel or a urine problem, but actually it makes no difference - don't try to handle this situation on your own. Your grandfather does have the right to refuse treatment in theory, but given his dementia you can't be sure of his ability to make these decisions and so you can't rely on his refusal. Get qualified medical advice, urgently.
And if at all possible, take a sample. You can look up techniques for doing that on the internet.
You state that your Grandpa "has been going to the bathroom and a lot of blood comes out.". Do you mean when he urinates or when he has a bowel movement? Even a tiny drop of blood in the toilet bowl can cause you to think that the person is bleeding a lot. So it is very important to assess how much blood your Grandpa is actually losing when he goes to the bathroom and whether the blood in in the urine or the bowel movement.
If the water in the toilet is Red and Clear without any Red clots or clumps; then it is possible that the bleeding might not be too serious (I remind you that I am talking in general as I am not there to personally look at or assess the results of your Grandpa going to the bathroom.) If the water in the toilet is BRIGHT RED and is CLOUDY with clumps or clots in it, that is a SERIOUS HEALTH ISSUE and your Grandpa needs to be seen by a Doctor. IF your Grandpa's bowel movements are brown and streaked with blood, that might be hemorrhoids. IF your Grandpa's bowel movements are BLACK, that is indicative of blood in the BM itself and due to bleeding in the small or large intestine.
It might be possible that your Grandpa is aware of the seriousness of the situation; and he knows that he is ACTIVELY DYING and does not want to go to the hospital because he knows that the doctors will want to do all types of tests; and he would rather DIE at home.
Talk with your parents about your concerns and ask them if they have talked to your Grandpa about what HE wants and if he KNOWS that he might die if he does not go to the hospital. Unfortunately your Grandpa has the RIGHT TO REFUSE TREATMENT.
{{{Hugs}}} and Prayers 🙏 for you and your family.
If he refuses, there isn’t much you can do. You can’t very well hog tie or drug him to get him to the ER. You’ll just have to wait it out and let the chips fall where they may. However, if it’s a urinary tract infection, he could go completely off the wall. If this happens, immediately call 911. UTIs are very serious.