How do you address feelings of guilt or others judging when you go on vacation? I have an upcoming trip coming up where I will be away from my mother for 10 days. The longest time ever spent apart since our caregiving journey 5+ years ago.
Most of this guilt is self imposed but I wanted to ask the larger group. I took care of my mom for a year and half at her house and only left the house to work my full time job. Mother is now in nursing home since she fell broke her hip. Has confusion issues also due to brain tumor diagnosis which she had been battling years before the hip fracture.
So, yes, she is in a safer place and I am not leaving her to her own devices. But the guilt is still there. Any advice?
Psychopaths do not feel guilt. They cannot empathize with what other people feel or think, so they don't care what they think; they cannot imagine themselves in another's head. But good people feel guilt because they fear being judged as wanting. Good people can imagine what others might think. The sad truth is that we all do the best we can. Those of us who are decent people judge ourselves as wanting every day. You have done the best you can. Now please treat yourself like you deserve 10 days away. Go, and have a wonderful time.
You NEED the break or you will burn out. This is not some whim or luxury. This break is a necessity to recharge your batteries and to live YOUR life. NO GUILT!
I alternate my time between two truly cherished LOs, one of whom is 3 and differently abled, and the other who is 91. Although I spend most of my time with one or the other, STILL the guilt !!!
My tuba has been an amazing and incredible joy in my life. If travel is your “tuba”, you owe it to yourself AND your loved one to use your respite time for refreshment of all the aspects of your life that you neglect when you’re called to be there for h/h.
If someone in your life is expressing a negative opinion about the care you give, or the time you leave that care for a period to renew, they clearly do not know our lives as caregivers.
Go go on your trip and stop thinking you need to pay “dues” to do so. You do not owe any excuses or explanations to anyone at all. Have a wonderful time.