I recently had to make the decision to put my mom in a skilled nursing home and she was just recently diagnosed with dementia and alzhimers . My father passed away in September and my oldest brother was murdered in 2014, my family has been through a lot of in this past year. The only ones left are myself and my mom and my younger brother who suffers from mental illness. Since I had to make this decision I have fallen in to a deep depression and feel really guilty that I had to put my mother in a nursing at the age of 61 but she can't care for herself and needs 24 hour assistance and care and I'm unable to do it because I half to work to support my family and pay my bills and my youngest brother is no condition to take care of her either, before my dad I promised him that I would could for my mom and brother and now I can't and the guilt is setting in and I feel alone and really depressed like I feel like I'm in a dark place in my life and I don't like that feeling. I feel as if I have let my family down and I'm a failure. Is the way I feel about putting my mom in nursing home and the guilt normal, is there something I can do to get passed this feeling ?
With dementia, placement is often the only option, for so many reasons. For me, the stress and huge emotional strain was greatest BEFORE I placed my 62 year old cousin. Once she was settled in and safe in assisted living, I felt like I had done a great thing. I know I made the right decision. I hope you can find peace with yours.
At some point, we begin to accept that we are doing all we can. Your family is blessed to have you.
Please cut yourself some slack - you're doing the best you can for your mom - you're keeping her safe and healthy. And you're there, loving her. You're doing a wonderful job! Hugs to you!
I'd say that's caring for her, whether it's in your home or a care facility.
From what I've read here, many people do feel guilt when a loved one moves from the family or adult children's home to AL, IL or other place.
This generation is still getting used to the caregiving tasks with which we're faced. It may be by the time today's children are adults, that approach and the strong element of guilt will change....I hope.
You are watching over her, you are seeing to her care. That's a good daughter.