I see signs that my mom needs more care. We tried having her live in our home before, but it just didn't work. She wanted our constant company, doesn't have friends and she doesn't drive. She always wanted the grands (or me) to wait on her and wouldn't attempt much on her own. Having her right under our roof gave us no privacy as she doesn't sleep much and I once caught her standing outside me and hubby's bedroom door! We can't afford assisted living. She is in an independant facility now, but I don't think she can last much longer on her own. Just thought maybe one of those new housing concepts of home within a home might work.
dream. I find this stuff so aggravating and also so sad.
"Can't take it with you"-- doesn't seem to resonate with some folks.
if ~she~ doesn't have the money, maybe you can have her apply for M-cal/Medicaid
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-pay-for-assisted-living-153842.htm
there's an article from this site.
and like to maintain their privacy and help out as much as they can. I've seen folks
that even when fairly disabled, knit hats and scarves and help prepare food and read
to grandkids. I've seen those who are still fairly mobile expect to be waited on night and
day and still intrude on their adult children's privacy.
Whatever style they had with you growing up expect more of the same. And then add
on care taking duties. And all bets are off if they have dementia. Even very compliant sweet grandparents with mild dementia can make a very big impact.
These 2 family houses, the apartments were quite large, even through there was one small bathroom. There was a long set of stairs at the front door and at the back door for the second floor apartment. As parents aged, those steps up were no longer user friendly. Thus, there was privacy for the grown child and their family.
My sig other's family of relatives lived in these 2 family houses and it worked out quite well. This was back decades ago. Now a days, the grown children, if they still lived in the area, had moved out to the suburbs.
My grandma quit doing anything, she expected to be waited on, was abusive to my mom, etc. There was an older frame house on the property and my grandma moved into it.
No good deed goes unpunished.
A year later I left my ex husband and got a lot of use out of the Mother-in-law quarters. I’m grateful my parents allowed me to get on my feet by living in grandma’s quarters.
My grandma lived in the frame house where she could smoke and eat ice cream for dinner until she had a stroke and went into assisted living.