MIL is 92 going on 93 and lives with us (7 months). Feisty, self-centered, combative, not agreeable to anything, not appreciative of what is given. Focuses on son only who cannot take her in-she acts like everything is great around him; hiding and acting. Is delusional at times and not realistic. She is legally blind and vision continues to fail. Wive only will provide basic needs and ignores her the rest of the time as her way of coping. Leaves me with the social needs and backing her up where she refuses to help. Marriage suffers. I have had it. Nerves are shot. Angry. Disappointed. Not like me at all. I feel very broken.
MIL is beyond taking care of herself. Had a serious fall 7 months ago--didnt break anything but it took a toll. Refused to go to hospital and ended up here because that was the last straw. She can't self administer meds other than eye drops; can't prepare food and can't be trusted to eat if left to self. The only other choice I see is forcing her into a nursing home somehow and there is no money to do that. It is us or the street to die.
Sounds like you and your wife need to have a good sit-down discussion of how things are going. Maybe it's time for MIL to move somewhere else. Could she move to a senior living apartment or independent/assisted living nearby?