This is my first time visiting any type of support group and I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask my question but I have to try. I have a father with advanced parkinsons. He was diagnosed about 20 years ago and he is now 67 years old. He is in a Board In Care home and he currently has full responsibility for his own financial and medical decisions.
He has been there for a year and they have had trouble with him from day one. He has been accusing them of hiding pills in his food. That is not new. He's done that for at least 15 years with his own family members and past in home caregivers.
Today I got a call from his caregiver that he is refusing to pay rent and is asking the caregiver to do sexually inappropriate things to him. Again, that is not new. His previous 3 in-home caregivers quit on him because of this. Until today, I hadn't heard of him being inappropriate for the last year so I thought those episodes were over.
He requires full 24/7 care. There is nothing he can do for himself. He cannot even sit up on his own or get in and out of bed.
The caregivers are frustrated with him and want me to fix the situation. I want him to be psychologically evaluated but he refuses to go to a Dr. A Dr came to the house and he refused to speak to the Dr.
He was diagnosed with sever depression many years ago but refused all medication and all therapy/counseling.
He is currently not taking any of his Parkinson's medication either.
What is the next step I can take to try to resolve this situation for the caregivers at the Board in Care home? They are talking of potentially evicting him since he won't pay rent and is harassing his caregivers.
I do not have a good relationship with my dad. I never have. It's been 10x worse since he has moved into this board in care home. But I am the only one who will take care of him. His brothers and sisters and other children refuse to visit or even acknowledge that he is still alive because in all honesty, he is a very nasty terrible person who is emotionally abusive and manipulative.
I just don't think I can live with myself if I let him be homeless. I do not like this man at all and only take care of him because I feel so guilty that everyone else in his life has left him. Rightly so though. He was a mean man to everyone who came across him and the choices he has made in his life are what brought him to this miserable state of being all alone.
He is refusing to see a Dr, he won't pay rent, he doesn't eat because he thinks he is being poisoned and he is verbally harassing the caregivers (he is too weak to physically harasses anyone)
What do I do? Who can I turn to for help with a man who refuses all help? (I'm in California)
I hope the powers that be will recognize that he is not competent and cannot be left to call the shots...he's got a choice of being declared incompetent or of being a criminal. You can't just refuse to pay bills and sexually harass everyone forever with no consequences. Sorry you have to deal with all the fallout from something totally not your fault and not under your control! You do not necessarily have to be the guardian yourself, either - get a decent SW to help with your realistic options.
If your father is as bad off as you're saying, it may be time to look into calling Adult Protective Services for help in taking legal guardianship of him so that you can have him placed in a full-time care facility (like a nursing home) where he can be cared for by people who have the training to deal with his sort of disorders/behavior issues.
Maybe I'm wrong here, but I don't see too many other options. I'm sure others will chime in with suggestions as well.