My aunt is 73, we just saw her this past weekend, she came for a visit; my family and I believe she is living in a very unhealthy and dangerous home; we don't know the full extent because she doesn't invite us over however she has lost 30 lbs. in the last 6 weeks and we do not believe she is eating right or bathing and does not have proper running water or a working washer and dryer so her clothes always have a terrible odor. About a year and a half ago she got hit by a truck and had severe head damage but she survive although the accident has made her mentally unstable. She will not listen to any of our advice, we asked her to go to the doctor and to get some of the stuff fixed in her house but she just doesn't do anything. We are afraid that she is going to hurt herself or someone else will take advantage and hurt her. She will not accept any help so we are thinking that we have to get an outsider involved; do we contact the state? How do I go about doing that? She lives in a different area than my family, my mother lives the closest to her, and she’s an hour away so it’s been difficult for us.
Hoarding gets even worse when you can't remember that you already have half a dozen of whatever is on sale for a bargain price that you "know" you will use...
In other cases of hoarding, some people actually survived the depression. Deprivation can definitely lead to hoarding later on. If another depression were to hit, I guess some of us just want to be stocked often prepared so that if there was another depression, it's less likely to affect us. It's always wise to be stocked up in case of emergency, but some of us may tend to go overboard so that if something does happen, I guess you could say will be well stocked up while the rest of the world is struggling during the emergency. I guess it would be a good idea to learn about your family roots and to see what everyone went through back in history, this would actually help you connect the dots in your own life
I see. It does not hurt for her to try to get the show to help
I recall the episode you mentioned, Fire chief was pleased, but there was still work to do. Not all clean ups have had success stories, a few homes, the hoard caused so much damage (water, mouse, rats, etc) they weren't salvageable.
I'm referring to the TV program called hoarders, I'm not aware of any other hoarder cleanup program other than that. The hoarders show actually comes out to the problem house and they go from there. tlc
they've had very high success rates in helping hoarders clean up. I've noticed all of the cases are very similar but most endings are about the same from what I've noticed
Are you referring to 1-800 GOT Junk? There is also College Hunks Hauling Junk.
Middlesex
Middlesex County Board of Social Services
P.O. Box 509
New Brunswick, NJ 08903
Phone: 732-745-3635
After Hrs: 911 or local police
Adult Protective Services in NC was absolutely her lifesaver. They befriended her and convinced her to go to the doctor with them by promising to take her for ice cream afterwards. This took 3 or 4 drop ins by the house when they saw her sitting on the porch. They are incredibly big hearted people. They did not know where I lived, but mthr was able to remember my husband's uncommon name, his line of work, and the big city we are near. They tracked me down, and worked with us as an interested party supporting us getting guardianship.
Call APS. The fire chief never helps with hoarding.
Was she a "normal" person before the head injury?
Time to take action. You have received excellent suggestions so don't sit around guessing.
Does the interact at all with your mother?
Contact the authorities ASAP.
As for needing help and rejecting it, there may be multiple reasons for this. For starters, some people just don't like to depend on others. If you catch yourself having to depend on others, things may not get done when you want or need them done or they may not get done right or maybe even not at all. Another possibility is trust issues, especially if you've ever been abused or had anything valuable stolen. Not knowing what all is in her house, she may actually have some valuables she's protecting and she may not want the theft risk, especially for irreplaceable items. Another precaution she may also be trying to take is against the possibility of some stranger coming in her home and attacking her, this is very common and I don't blame her for taking certain precautions. These days there's very much cause to be very leery especially if you're elderly or very vulnerable in some other way. These days I don't blame vulnerable people for being very leery and protecting themselves however they know how, and I don't blame them, I wouldn't want no stranger in my house either! There have been nightmares of elderly being attacked after letting a stranger into their home. There have even been thefts of money and valuables, you just don't let strangers in these days. Sometimes even letting in people you know can be risky because even people you know can turn out to be thieves or even dangerous. These days it's hard to know who to trust because even people you think you know best can turn on you on a dime especially if they find out you're rich or have anything valuable they want
As for the utilities such as the water, is it possible that maybe something in her place needs fixed such as a leak, but she didn't have the money to fix it? If the home was not in need of repairs, is it possible she just didn't have the money for the utilities? Is it possible that it's a combo of both? If she has no running water, maybe the water bill skyrocketed due to a leak she couldn't afford to fix, and she also may not of been able to afford the water bill either? This is just worth a thought. This makes you wonder how she's surviving without water and never leaving home because this is just not possible without some water source coming in from somewhere. You just can't live long without water, you need a certain amount to drink just to survive, so having no water source and not leaving home is just not possible, she would've been dead by now unless she's collecting rainwater and she may have a rain barrel somewhere on the property. Otherwise, she wouldn't otherwise survive because the human body needs water, it's a dire survival need. She has a water source coming in from somewhere if this is been going on for a while. Even if your running water is cut off, there is still rainwater you can collect in a barrel or even bottled water, but her water source is coming from somewhere or she wouldn't even be alive right now. If no one is bringing her bottle water and she's not ordering it from anywhere, she's definitely going out and getting it somewhere if she's not collecting rainwater, so she would have to leave home to go get it if no one is bringing it to her and she's not ordering it. You can definitely bet on that, because you just don't live but a few days without water going into your body.
I would definitely get the APS and the health department as well as the fire chief involved because the fire chief will definitely flip his lid if he sees for himself that she's hoarding stuff and living in a fire hazardous condition. If she happens to be stubborn enough to not answer the door to no one despite these resources, I'm not exactly sure how they would handle it in these particular types of cases. It may turn out that someone needs a court order to force entry into her home if all else fails. Another thing you may want to be prepared for in rare cases is if the person happens to take a few things and vanish if people start showing up at her doorstep and she doesn't want anyone there. I know this wouldn't be true in all cases but there may be a few rare cases out there where this can happen. Sometimes people move to specific areas for the peace and quiet, especially if it's a wide open space with hardly any neighbors or maybe even no neighbors. Something people move to areas expecting not to be bothered, but if someone starts bothering them especially if it's a bit too much, they may pick up and move. My foster dad even threatened to move multiple times when he became aggravated at different times. Sometimes people with dementia tend to act differently and they may even invite you over and forget that they even invited you and throw a fit when you show up. Though he never did act on the threat, he was eventually placed into a nursing home. However, this may not be the outcome in every case. Some people will just pick up and move if they feel they're being bothered too much and don't want to be bothered.
The fire chief woul
Another thing I'm wondering is if the patient may also have everything already set up on her own behalf? You never know that she might not already have a living will along with other arrangements she may have already previously set up. This may be why she won't let anyone make decisions for her if she becomes incapacitated, she may have already made those decisions and arrangements such as a DNR among other things. You just never know until you actually find out as much as you can. If you have certain things in place regarding your medical care, you may not need a DPOA. If your finances are already fixed a certain way, you may not even need anyone else over your financial matters as long as everything is set up just right and the bills are being paid even if you become incapacitated. I would find out as much as you absolutely can about these areas because you definitely want to look deeper into these areas. Even if she doesn't have automatic bill pay set up, she may be writing checks for all you know. You can always put outgoing mail to be picked up on the mailbox if you have an attached mailbox on the side of your house. You never know who may also be supplying her with stationary or what her arrangement may already be, you just never know until you find out. If she has a hoarding problem, you don't know that she may not already have a ton of stationary stashed in her house. You just never know what kind of arrangements she has to keep her bills paid whether it be by check or automatic bill pay. Definitely lost a little deeper into how her bills are being paid each month and definitely look into any arrangements she may have previously made regarding her medical care should she become incapacitated, she may already have something set up, you just never know until you find out for sure by looking deeper into situations in question.
As for her final expenses though, you may want to try to find out if she may already have a preneed arrangement already set up with a funeral home, and see if she's actually paying on her preneed arrangement. Sometimes people who live alone find certain opportunities that allow them to care for certain areas on their own should they become incapacitated. I already know that if I became incapacitated that my bills will automatically be paid and I'm guaranteed a place to come home to because my bills will keep coming out automatically until I make changes. Though living alone can be lonely after a while, it still has advantages, and when you have a regular steady income, regular automatic bill pay guarantees your bills will be paid as long as the money is there. In this type of case where we've become a mostly cashless society in the digital world, we often turn to online shopping for many things, all within the comfort of home. These days you really don't have to leave home to go shopping and fight for a good parking spot when there's online shopping. There are some situations where you just don't have to leave home anymore.
In your situation, you have an opportunity to learn as much as you can by looking deeper into certain areas where you have questions. I'm sure there's always multiple ways to find out what you want to know. If by some strange chance you have an opportunity to be at this person's house when they're not home, you can get clever enough to snoop through her mail without her knowing because you can always put stuff back where you found it and how you found it. This requires skill and careful handling on your part if you really want to do some snooping and prying.
She should be checked by her doctor or at least a neuro evaluation should be done.
As to the living conditions protective services or if there is a Senior Services Agency in your area they would probably be the ones to call.
but if there is immediate family they should be the ones that cold start the process.
If it is found that your Aunt can live on her own there are Handyman services that some Senior Programs have the handyman service is usually a lower cost than getting a contractor or even a local handyman.
I know in my area Habitat for Humanity sometimes does work for Veterans you could call them and ask if they also do work at a reduced cost for seniors. Some church organizations also have programs.
Just know that once this gets going it is possible that her home may be declared unfit and she will have to move until it is either repaired or cleaned so it will pass inspection. She will have to have somewhere to go. Would your Mom be able to take her in for a time? If not or if it would be an indefinite time is there an Assisted Living facility she can go?
good luck not an easy task.
Does anyone that you know of how Power of Attorney for her?
If not, do you or someone in your family want to be the person appointed to make decisions for her, such as a Guardian? If so, then I would consult with an attorney in her jurisdiction about what type of evidence is required in court, the process, legal fees, do you get reimbursed for legal fees, challenges, time commitment, responsibilities, etc. You can also ask the court to appoint a professional to be her Guardian.
If you don't want to get that involved, you might report her to adult protective services so they can do an investigation. That might work and they might step in and file to be guardian, if no family is interested. However, if they show up and she has a good day, tells them things that they have no way of knowing are false, convinces them she's okay, they might not realize the dire nature of the situation and you might not get the result you were expecting. Unless, there is someone close to give them the background and the details of her deterioration, they may not see what has happened to her.
Can you contact her doctor and provide the doctor with information? He may not be able to talk to you, but you could send him info. Maybe, he could contact the county about it. Still....you have no say so in how that pans out.
Is is possible to just go visit her and check out the home? That might reveal a lot. She could have also lost utilities, homeowner insurance, etc. due to failure to pay, if she's lost track of taking care of her bills.
Is she still driving? Is she properly insured?