I am tired, I take care of my dad's needs after his wife (not our mother) left him after a 28 yr marriage because she could not deal with his PD... it got in the way of her living off the high life, she is a gold digger and she took my father for a ride. Now my sibs and I are stuck dealing with him....yes STUCK! He left our mom and us for this golddigger. And now we are picking up the pieces... Most of the time I can forgive or I think I have then a trigger and it really makes me upset...
You are not a victim here. You have a choice. Decide what you are comfortable with and what you prefer, then do it.
The wife hung in for a long time, 28 years. Is she a beneficiary? Is dad competent to update all of his documents? POA? DNR? Living will? Who is his POA?