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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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LWilliams, as Blannie wrote, each individual's experience is different, and it's a function of many things, including what other co-morbidities are present.
We know from your post that your mother is on Oxygen 24/7, but for what medical purpose? Does she have CHF, emphysema, lung cancer? It could make a difference. What liter flow rate is she getting? What are her SAT rates at that liter flow?
Does she have other conditions besides a pulmonary one?
All of these factor into how long she'll live, and what you can expect as time passes.
Blannie gave a good description of changes near the end. My only experience was with my sister, who was dying from metastatic breast cancer. Her lungs were severely compromised b/c of the cancer. Her breathing wasn't particularly labored, but she had difficulty speaking.
After the DNR order was signed, morphine was begun, she fell asleep, and the vigil began. I don't recall all the specifics, but if I remember correctly, one of the doctors later told us she would die overnight, which she did.
There were no other signs, no activity. We stayed with her, I held her hand, and my father and I also both fell asleep. I woke up abruptly 45 minutes before she died. There was no change, just something I sensed, or maybe felt from contact.
I was so relieved then and continue to be that the hospital had a small hospice section so she didn't have to endure the ordeal of being moved.
Your best bet is to ask one of the hospice nurses to explain the whole situation, how one medical condition affects another, and how each will affect her remaining time, as well as the signs closer to death.
I will share my experience with my mom. I had her on hospice for one week. I had no idea it would be that short when I brought hospice in I had no idea what to expect. They put her on morphine and ativan. She wasn't in pain, the morphine was to help her breathing (she had pulmonary fibrosis or lung issues) and the Ativan was for restlessness. My mom's legs would start moving (like restless leg syndrome) and that's when I'd give her the Ativan.
My mom was up and down. One day she'd be totally asleep most of the time. Able to get up and go to the bathroom, but right back to sleep. Other days, I'd come in and she'd be awake and watching TV in her chair. She ate very little - said she wasn't hungry. She drank more than she ate. In the last few days, she mostly slept. Sometimes my mom would have trouble breathing or she'd be somewhat agitated. In her more lucid moments, she didn't remember any of that, so I stopped worrying about whether she was consciously in pain and suffering - she wasn't.
The final day the hospice nurse said she thought she'd pass that day because of her breathing (Cheyne-Stokes breathing, a little like sleep apnea), her dropping temperature, and her mottled color in her feet. So I stayed with her for 12 hours. Her breathing was somewhat labored, but she was not awake and conscious. She passed away while I was taking a break in the living room (mere steps away from her in the bedroom).
So for me, mom's passing was very peaceful and expected. She didn't experience pain, she went out on her terms, and I was in her apartment with her. Each passing is different, so this is only my experience with my mom. Every hospice is different, so I hope you have a good one. My friend's family has hospice in Florida and they've been very unhelpful to my friend's family. The hospice nurse we had was very helpful in letting me know what to expect and where mom was in her journey. So don't be afraid to ask them what's going on. {{{Hugs}}}
I think people are afraid to answer your question because we all realize that time is short for your mother. Nobody's final journey is exactly the same as someone elses, but the hospice staff should be able to guide you and answer your questions.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
We know from your post that your mother is on Oxygen 24/7, but for what medical purpose? Does she have CHF, emphysema, lung cancer? It could make a difference. What liter flow rate is she getting? What are her SAT rates at that liter flow?
Does she have other conditions besides a pulmonary one?
All of these factor into how long she'll live, and what you can expect as time passes.
Blannie gave a good description of changes near the end. My only experience was with my sister, who was dying from metastatic breast cancer. Her lungs were severely compromised b/c of the cancer. Her breathing wasn't particularly labored, but she had difficulty speaking.
After the DNR order was signed, morphine was begun, she fell asleep, and the vigil began. I don't recall all the specifics, but if I remember correctly, one of the doctors later told us she would die overnight, which she did.
There were no other signs, no activity. We stayed with her, I held her hand, and my father and I also both fell asleep. I woke up abruptly 45 minutes before she died. There was no change, just something I sensed, or maybe felt from contact.
I was so relieved then and continue to be that the hospital had a small hospice section so she didn't have to endure the ordeal of being moved.
Your best bet is to ask one of the hospice nurses to explain the whole situation, how one medical condition affects another, and how each will affect her remaining time, as well as the signs closer to death.
My mom was up and down. One day she'd be totally asleep most of the time. Able to get up and go to the bathroom, but right back to sleep. Other days, I'd come in and she'd be awake and watching TV in her chair. She ate very little - said she wasn't hungry. She drank more than she ate. In the last few days, she mostly slept. Sometimes my mom would have trouble breathing or she'd be somewhat agitated. In her more lucid moments, she didn't remember any of that, so I stopped worrying about whether she was consciously in pain and suffering - she wasn't.
The final day the hospice nurse said she thought she'd pass that day because of her breathing (Cheyne-Stokes breathing, a little like sleep apnea), her dropping temperature, and her mottled color in her feet. So I stayed with her for 12 hours. Her breathing was somewhat labored, but she was not awake and conscious. She passed away while I was taking a break in the living room (mere steps away from her in the bedroom).
So for me, mom's passing was very peaceful and expected. She didn't experience pain, she went out on her terms, and I was in her apartment with her. Each passing is different, so this is only my experience with my mom. Every hospice is different, so I hope you have a good one. My friend's family has hospice in Florida and they've been very unhelpful to my friend's family. The hospice nurse we had was very helpful in letting me know what to expect and where mom was in her journey. So don't be afraid to ask them what's going on. {{{Hugs}}}