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"kinda feel like she is looking to my husband as her male figure" and it also sounds like he's emotionally enmeshed with his mother. Ya'll need some marriage counseling and if he will not go, then you need someone to support you. She really needs to go somewhere else to live. Is that a possibility. Why does she need to come to your house?

You are right. If she moves in, you will not be the number 1 woman of the house and from your description no the number 1 woman of your husband.

The book that I usually recommend for situations like this is titled, "When He's Married to Mom" It offers advice on how to win him back. I wish for you the best.
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Sgarza Apr 2020
She has 1 daughter who has 4 kids of her own that all have "problems" and a few of them live with her sister there is no room. They also have cats and smoke cigarettes and my mother in law doesn't do well with those things. I feel really bad cause I know there is no other place and she is better off with us,but I'm struggling at times. And my husband said I wear my emotions on my sleeves. Thank you for your response. Maybe I need to try harder, or maybe I need to seek a therapist. Idk.......
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