How can I get help with my hoarding uncle who lives with me? My landlord is trying to evict me for the hazard his room creates.

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How can I get help with my hoarding uncle who lives with me? My landlord is trying to evict me for the hazard his room creates.

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My uncle's room is a hoarding nightmare. Old rotting food, newspapers, magazines, soda cans and tons of garbage he takes from the kitchen rubbish bins. He is impossible to talk to and always plays the "victim". His excuse is he doesn't have the energy to clean. But he sure has enough energy to go to the supermarket and buy junk food. He is diabetic and two weeks after I had to call 911 2 nights in a row for them to pick him up off of his filthy room floor, he sat down and ate 29 cookies in one sitting.
I am at the end of my rope and this situation is having several adverse effects on my physical and emotional health. Please advise me on what to do.

Hoarding Home Safety Hygiene

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Evict your uncle asap. He's creating a health hazard for YOU in YOUR home, so he's the one who has to leave. Give him 30 days (or whatever) to leave and find a new place to live, or, clean up the hoard and fly right. That's not likely to happen, though, because a hoarder very rarely stops hoarding on his own. Not even with psychological help, actually. And it's also unlikely he'll stop his bad eating habits and that means you'll constantly be in a position to call 911 and be on high alert as his keeper.

You have to care for YOURSELF here, and since his actions are taking such a big toll on your physical and emotional health, I don't think you have much choice but to send him packing.

Good luck!

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Did you each sign a lease? Or are you both on one lease? It doesn't seem fair that he evicts both of you. Please understand that hoarding is a mental illness, so trying to reason with him on any level will be unproductive and a waste of energy. I would talk to the landlord and try to separate yourself from him so that at least you don't have to get punished as well, unless you are counting on Uncle to pay part of the rent. You have 2 options: be preemptive and just move and leave him to experience the consequences of his choices and never move in with him anywhere again. Or, see if your lease allows you to separate yourself from him and try to get to stay where you are. You can make 1 final attempt to explain to your uncle that he WILL get an eviction notice and after it is posted for 30 days they can forcibly remove him and he better have a back-up plan. Whatever you do, DO NOT help him clean his room. He must do it himself. Which he won't do because he's a hoarder. He will just fill it up again and then rely on you to rescue him. Another option: if there is a "next time" he has a medical episode and goes to the hospital, contact their on-staff social worker to explain it would be an "unsafe discharge" to allow him to be released back to the apartment. Do not go to get him. Request that they do a cognitive exam on him and show them pictures of his hoarded room. If they decide to act upon your information they will most likely move to pursue guardianship for him so he can be placed in a facility. How old is your uncle? If you do not have PoA or guardianship for him there will be very little you can do for him legally to help him anyway. I wish you success in protecting yourself in this situation but please don't get sucked into the dilemma he created for himself.

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Just to add though, some hoarders are PhDs or professors. They just go home after a highly intellectual day to their hoard. This is not true, of course, for someone who has Diogenes Syndrome (elder squalor disorder), but the OCD (?) that is at the root of hoarding does not impact the ability to pass a cognitive test.

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I have to agree with lealonnie1. Your uncle has to go. It is not healthy for you to continue to live with him and his hoard. Hoarding is a mental disease, that isn't easily fixed, and then him having diabetes, that he's not wanting to control, is almost like he's either directly or indirectly trying to kill himself. He needs help. More than you can ever provide, so time to cut your losses now, and get on with living your life. You can't go on with the way things are. Please, please, make yourself a priority, and get your uncle out ASAP.

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Your landlord has every right to evict you, sad to say. You probably signed an agreement that included a clause about keeping the place clean. I am guessing that if the landlord has not been inside your home (you don't say if he has or hasn't) then possibly the ambulance crew had to make a report about his unsafe living conditions.

There is no fixing a hoarder other than to get them to a place where they can no longer hoard, no access to items to hoard, a more controlled environment. And during that transition, they will probably need to have some sort of medication to cope with the change, it is very emotionally taxing for a hoarder to lose his hoard. For your uncle's sake, he needs a level of care you cannot provide.

I hope you can the necessary steps for your uncle's wellbeing and to be able to continue to live where you want to live.

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Move.

Who's on the lease? Both of you or just you?

Uncle I'm moving in 60 days. Here is a phone number for a social worker. I suggest you call & get services to help you;
1. Clean up
2. Find new accomodation
3. Move

Unless you are your Uncle's legal Guardian? In which case, you can call a social worker to assist both of you.

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Hoarders are addicts. You can't reason with them. They do not think of others, just feeding their hoard. Even professionals have a hard time with this situation. Pick a solution from one of the previous posts: move, get out of the lease, let him face his own consequences, etc. Sorry you are in this predicament; save yourself.

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your uncle has a mental health issue -- reasoning with him is not an option AND if he could do better he would. Consequently, you need to decide what actions to take to protect your health AND Your living situation.

If it was me Hire someone to clean out the room AND then have someone clean it weekly; If your uncle doesn't like it have him move into an assisted living.

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The thing I would add charge the
cleaning service(s) back to him.

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I am married to a hoarder. There are 2 main components: incoming stuff, and inability to discard. You are going to have to play dirty. I know you don’t want to, but since he drives to the supermarket, take that opportunity to go in his room and discard the old newspapers and rotten food and anything else that is clearly not useful. If he has subscriptions to magazines that he doesn’t read, cancel them. Don’t ask and don’t tell, just take charge of the inflow. Plead ignorance IF he notices, and he might not. “I don’t know anything about it.” Chances are he will not get around to resubscribing. I know this is not you, but hoarders aren’t rational and you will exhaust yourself arguing over every button and used paper towel. For your sanity, your health, and his health, do what must be done, because he can’t.

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aZBarb, respectfully, what you are suggesting is called "enabling". In no way should the OP stay with his uncle and enable his dysfunction. That would be called co-dependency. Also dysfunctional.

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I assume he is over 65 years. When he goes to hospital or u have to call rescue have him taken to a nursing home for rehab they can give physical therapy to combat his falling. While he is there clean out his room when he come home tell him if he doesn't keep his room clean he will have to go to nursing home permanently. This is your home and I assume he is living with you to be taken care , but his hoarding is destroying your home.with rotten good and clothes thrown around is a great invite to mice and rats. Tough love is in order before the place falls down around you. There is also mold and black mold is dangerous to health.since you can't talk to him then action should be taken..

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Great idea. Let paramedics haul him off, you clean the room and blame it all on what paramedics saw -- and they plan to send someone periodically to make sure room stays clean. If he fails to do so, they can send someone to have him placed in facility. You can be the victim, too -- THEY told me all this and THEY will be watching.

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If he is living with you, I am assuming he is in YOUR home. That means he has to live by certain rules or you have to remove him. Here is what I would do. First of all, I would sit him down and in strong language set down the rules and the boundaries. Tell him ONE TIME ONLY you will get help to clean up his room. That means it has to be cleaned out from A to Z and he must maintain it after that and if he does not, he will have to be forced to leave. Then I would go and get help no matter how he rants and raves and clean the room. If you don't do this, you can be sure the authorities will step in and perhaps do something to you as it is your home - and heaven help you. This shows them you are trying to correct the problem and will be in your favor. Second of all, is it possible to take over as his Power of Attorney so you can control the finances? Tell him under no circumstances can any food be kept in his room. Monitor what he is eating and don't keep "bad" food available to him. And start thinking and exploring what you can do with him if he must leave your home. Check with local professionals and the doctor for information - you cannot allow this to continue. Once the patient is damaging you and causing harm to YOU, then YOU must act at once to do something. It is possible that you will have to remove him and place him somewhere so start looking into this especially if he has dementia which I think he does have. To live like that is disgusting and cannot ever be tolerated - never!

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Thank you. Well said.

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How can I get help with my hoarding uncle who lives with me? My landlord is trying to evict me for the hazard his room creates.

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