i moved my mother with Parkinson’s in with me a year ago she is mobile but requires a walker we put her a bedside commode for nighttime but now she wants to use the bedside for her bowel movements during the day I’m the one who empties I’ve told her to use the bathroom potty during the day but it doesn’t seem to register it’s very hard for me to dump it knowing that she can use the flushable toilet
To place it over a toilet its just a matter of taking the bar off the back of the commode then lining up the two holes. The seat can be taken off the toilet since the commode has one. The commode can be adjust to be easy for Mom to get on and off. Usually new commodes come with splash guards. This is what you will use in place of the bucket making sure the bottom edge is below the rim of the toilet. The legs of the commode gives the person some stability. If trouble find a splashguard, cut the bottom out of a bucket.
During the day she walked from her lift chair in the living room to her bathroom. She used a walker and did this several times daily. She was 97.
You could try moving the commode to sit over the bathroom potty for the day to see if it is the commode chair itself she feels she needs.
My mom had one in her bathroom as well as the one by her hospital bed. She also had one in her shower for a shower chair., Yes, that’s 3 she had in use but only the night one to be emptied.
We did insist with our mom that she wear pull-ups so she didn’t have to rush to get to the bathroom during the day. She was never incontinent of bowel but did need her pull-ups at times. She knew she had to go to the bathroom every couple of hours or her bladder would empty when she stood up. It’s a lot to manage for an elder in decline. She fully understood what it took on her part to live as she chose.
It is an individual decision but remember you matter too and you must protect your own health. I probably would remove the commode chair during the day so she had to use the toilet you want her to use. If she is willfully refusing to use the toilet then it’s a different problem and perhaps time to consider other living arrangements.
I’m sorry this is so hard. The year you’ve given your mom living with you has been a gift. Remember that it is okay to change your mind.
Do have a talk with mom on how this affects your decision to remain her caregiver. You know she will decline and either help must be hired or she will need facility care. My aunt with Parkinson’s spent the last 18 months bedbound. My cousin was caring for her and her dad. They are both gone now and cousin is doing well but I truly did not think she would recover as it was that hard.
Home health through medicare was very helpful for my mom and my cousins parents and my DH aunt. You might see if they are available for your mom. Every layer of help can make a difference.
That way all you have to do is take it to the toilet and flush it down and wash and rinse it out real good.
Be glad that she's at least using the bedside commode as she could just be pooping in her pants or on your furniture. It's all about perspective.
It sounds like your mother may now have some dementia which often goes hand in hand with Parkinson's, so trying to get her to remember things will get harder and harder as time goes by.
And I can tell you from personal experience that it's much easier to clean out a bedside commode than it is to clean an adult with a poopy diaper.
Again it's all about perspective.
I am not certain yet, from a review of your questions to us, whether mom has Parkinson's dementia? If so, it's kind of "End of question. Next".
These instructions of yours just "won't compute", and you're sadly left with. a "Thank goodness she is using the commode and not her incontinent pants; so many fewer bladder infections this way".
I do note that you mention a good deal of nighttime urinary incontinence in other questions to us.
I think, given surely you have TRIED to instruct on this, and failed, there's no magic wand. If there is I sure don't have it, and hoping others do. I'm afraid this falls into the Dr. Laura's file of "Not everything can be fixed".
I wish you the very best. Hope others have better suggestions for you than I do.