I am the only daughter and family member helping my dad. I have been taking care of him the past 2 years, but it is too much on me. His only income is his SS, but it isn't enough to cover any type of care. I currently have him in an independent living home because it is affordable, but he isn't the slightest bit independent. He can't dress himself or get his own meals or shower or anything really. He sits in his chair all day and watches TV and now no longer even tries to get up. He just sits there and soils himself all day and then pulls down his diaper and continues to soil. I have to do everything because there is no money. I gave up my job. I can't take it anymore. People have suggested I just make him a ward of the state. What should I do?
In your Dad's case it is more complicated. You have taken on the POA and now he is no longer competent to appoint another. In many states you can call APS and they will assist you in resigning your POA, but in some they cannot/will not and you will then need an attorney as it is a court action. The attorney will guide you through resigning as POA. Then they will have the court appoint a Fiduciary to act for the state in guardianship.
Good luck as you move forward.
First… get your job back or get a new one ASAP!
After you resign, call APS and report him as a vulnerable adult. Depending on the state/county the process will take a while. Once the county has guardianship, you won't have any insight or access to any of his financial or medical affairs but wherever they place him you will have all the ability to visit him as his daughter.
An immediate solution to the soiling problem: purchase "anti-strip" jumpsuits from silverts.com so that he cannot access his disposable brief without your help in getting his outfit off.
it will be easier to get him in a facility if he goes from a hospital. I think I would call an ambulance and have him taken to an ER and see if they can place him in a NH.
Only sign anything you are asked to sign as agent of his POA. Has he been diagnosed with a dementia in the past?