Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
As Garden said, there always are choices. What we don't often know before we embark on our caregiving journeys is how hard those choices become. I hope that you have POA for both your father and aunt. If so, talk to an elder law or trusts and estates attorney about selling one of their homes and consolidating them into one home where services can be brought in using the proceeds from the sale of one of their homes. If selling either home is not feasible, get them placed in a facility together and sell both of their homes to pay for their care.
I applaud your honestly and recognizing what is reasonable. I'm sure your father and aunt would be so grateful that you explore options that work for you all. I'd explore what options there are. If finances are not available, there are benefits they may qualify for.
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and hugs during this difficult time.
I know you love your father and aunt very much but like GardenArtist said there is always choices. I know you don't feel like that right now, but when you are ready try to talk to a social worker. Look at all your options. Do not let yourself get burned out, angry and resentful. This is even tougher when you are grieving your beloved mother. Us women try and try to be everything to everyone but sometimes its just not possible.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself the best you can. Thinking of you.
Emma, there are always choices, although not all of them are good ones. If you're caring for 2 people with dementia, living in separate homes, that's just too much of a demand for you.
If you want relief, you're the only person who can create it. Accepting it as fate or "not much choice" is only going to make you feel more oppressed and trapped, and eventually that will become such a negative force that it could affect your ability to function and just care for yourself.
You have to think creatively, as a manager, not a doer. Tell us what some of the tasks are and we can offer suggestions on how to get help. Otherwise, I'm not sure that anyone can offer anything except consolation.
The other person is my aunt. Both my father and my aunt live in their homes. We have paid help for my Dad 3 days a week. I just feel like having already lost my Mom to dementia, I can't go through this two more times as the primary caregiver. But there is not much choice.
Emma, your profile states that you're caring for your father. Who is the other person involved?
Depending on their medical conditions, you probably will have to make some tough decisions, one of them being consideration of caring only for your father.
Do you get any family or paid help in the home? Explaining more about the situation will help in providing targeted answers to your specific situation.
But you've taken the first step by recognizing that the situation is more than you can handle. The next step is to assess it, determine what can be done by others (family or paid) and start on that process.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Sending you love and hugs during this difficult time.
I know you love your father and aunt very much but like GardenArtist said there is always choices. I know you don't feel like that right now, but when you are ready try to talk to a social worker. Look at all your options. Do not let yourself get burned out, angry and resentful. This is even tougher when you are grieving your beloved mother. Us women try and try to be everything to everyone but sometimes its just not possible.
Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself the best you can. Thinking of you.
If you want relief, you're the only person who can create it. Accepting it as fate or "not much choice" is only going to make you feel more oppressed and trapped, and eventually that will become such a negative force that it could affect your ability to function and just care for yourself.
You have to think creatively, as a manager, not a doer. Tell us what some of the tasks are and we can offer suggestions on how to get help. Otherwise, I'm not sure that anyone can offer anything except consolation.
And know that you're not alone, not by any means.
Depending on their medical conditions, you probably will have to make some tough decisions, one of them being consideration of caring only for your father.
Do you get any family or paid help in the home? Explaining more about the situation will help in providing targeted answers to your specific situation.
But you've taken the first step by recognizing that the situation is more than you can handle. The next step is to assess it, determine what can be done by others (family or paid) and start on that process.