Follow
Share

My grandmother keeps making these "uh huh huh" noises that's kind of like a moan, but it's not (it reminds me of Butthead from Beavis & Butthead), but it's a deeper sound. Anyway, it's driving me up the wall. She denies having a problem, but I don't fully believe her. She says it's comforting to make the sounds. However, it's not comforting to me, it's making me crazy - literally. It would be one thing if I just heard it when we're in the same room together, but I hear it all over the house - upstairs too. I can't get away from it. If I put headphones on or turn on something to drown out the sound, I wouldn't be able to hear her if she called or paged me. I've told her of this but she keeps making these sounds. Oddly, when I sneak up beside her when she's making these sounds and then she suddenly realizes I'm there, she starts reading the clues/questions in her crossword puzzle as to cover up the fact that she had been making those sounds. The other night she was making the sounds for two hours straight. I was upstairs trying to work on a complicated computer-email problem. All of a sudden I snapped and found myself yelling "shut up" and didn't realize I was yelling until I was actually doing it. I didn't intend to yell, it just came out. Nothing like that's ever happened to me before. Any suggestions on what to do? If this crap continues, I may have to take drastic measures. I may have tell Grandma to knock it off or I'll play some lovely hip-hop music for her everytime she does it. Considering she's intentionally making the sounds despite that I've told her I can hear her all over the house and it's annoying, then I don't think there's anything wrong with giving her a dose of her own medicine. It's not like she has dementia and can't help it. She knows what she's doing. And like I said, I can hear her all over the house - I can't get away from it.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Mejjy, because of certain medications my mother had what pharmacists describe as an irritating dry cough.

Of course the pharmacists mean that the cough irritates the patient. If they were talking about what it did to the patient's captive audience (me) they would describe it instead as an abso-f***ing-lutely infuriating teeth-clenching I-can't-take-this-any-longer cough.

I also had a grandmother who used to hum whole piano concertos. Was she aware she was doing it? I don't think she fully can have been, she was just paying more attention to what was going on inside her head than to what was going on around her.

And the last time I had to write copy to a deadline there was an evasive housefly in the room. Stressed? Me? No, I just like to curl up in a corner, suck my thumb and cry.

So I really, really do sympathise with your (pretty harmless, actually) outburst. Where I take issue is with your supposition that your grandmother can help this if she tries. M'n. Doubt it.

What your grandmother is doing is a kind of self-soothing. The noise, presumably, creates a pleasant sensation which she finds comforting. So although no doubt - if she were prepared to pay attention the whole time on what effect her sitting there and minding her own business might be having on you - she *could* not do it, how realistic is that? - not to mention how reasonable?

I don't know what the solution is. I detest repetitive noise myself so I honestly do feel for you. How about you go ahead with the noise-cancelling headphones and just check in on her on a stricter schedule?
Helpful Answer (13)
Report

Buy earphones. And grow up.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

Buy some noise-isolating over ear headphones and play something, or just wear them so you don't hear the sounds you don't want to hear. Older people make noises as a way of self soothing. I think that's why they do it. My grandmother did it, and my father did it, and it drove me nuts. But. You need to figure out a way to deal with it on your end and not yell at your grandmother.
Helpful Answer (10)
Report

All of a sudden you found yourself yelling "shut up" and didn't realize you were yelling until you were actually doing it.

So apparently you understand that you can make sounds that are not intentional, but you don't believe that can happen to your grandmother?

How is it that you are caregiving for this annoying old lady?
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

Doesn’t sound like you’re up for live in caregiving. That’s not a criticism, it’s not for everyone. I hope you’ll look into other arrangements for your grandmother before the situation becomes something completely wrong and unfair to you both
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

She may not be aware that she is doing it until you point it out. But it also does not sound like you are up for long term caregiving. Your reaction is quite extreme and your plan to give 'her a dose of her own medicine' is immature. There are a great many parts of caregiving that are annoying, intrusive and generally interrupt the daily lives of caregivers.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

All of the above.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Maybe she is spending too much time alone and needs more socialization
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Why aren't her own adult children looking after her? You may be too young for this job?
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

I’m no expert on these sounds, and just starting to investigate the "self soothing" aspects of dementia. But she’s told you it’s comforting to her, so may be playing soothing music for her would shift her focus from inside her head to something else. There are many albums that can be downloaded to a player if you search for soothing music. Also my step daughter just made a figet muff for my mom with some doodads to play with when she’s experiencing sundowners. We havent tried it yet but it’s supposed to be soothing.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter