Mom is experiencing sundowning every day. Her short-term memory is failing. She has Parkinsons. Her mind races and her fears are overwhelming her. We've taken care of her at home for 8 years. She is a significant fall risk. We have 24/7 care. My concern is the emotional toll her anxiety is taking on her and how her fears may create an obstacle for her as she makes this move.
Mom has not been on any anxiety medications because interactions with her other meds decrease her stability and increase risk of a fall.
We have no date for a move, but my wife and I (as well as nurses who come to see her) feel the time is coming. I'm visiting NHs in our area and have submitted an application to one that has good ratings, is close to one of my siblings, and has a pleasant environment.
I have not told her that this is what I intend to do. Her anxiety is related to her loss of memory and the confusion it creates in her. She has always been the point person in our family and I think her anxiety is her realization that while her tendencies are to stay on point (on alert) there is less and less she is capable of doing. She is holding on to her former role tenaciously.
Why haven't I included her in this process? That's a good question. Guilt. This is the necessary and correct thing to do. But she is no longer able to see such things logically. It's all emotions. Trust is a huge issue for her. Her emotions are being driven by her unwillingness to rely on others and her fears of abandonment.
Your thoughts?