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Has to wrap my feet everyday because I have a big sore of my right foot. She has to go to the store for me, cook help me, dress and shower me.

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Please get medical care for that sore. Wife is probably not a wound care nurse, and that's what you need (at the very least).

It's nice of you to think about the difficulties your wife endures in caring for you, but what you need is some help from outside the home. Your wife doesn't have to do any of this. She does it because there's no one else to do it. Find friends, relatives or paid caregivers to help her so she doesn't have to work so hard.

I hope you get the care you need.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Write her a check?
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Reply to ZippyZee
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I am concerned about that sore on your foot. Do you have diabetes? If so, your wife should not be dressing this unless she is a nurse. And preferably a wound care nurse. A woundcare nurse knows what to look for like dead tissue which is not a good thing. If you have diabetes I hope your are seeing an endocrinologist. If not see your PCP and ask for a woundcare referral or to have a woundcare nurse come to your home.

My GF was a juvenile diabetic and lost her leg up to her knee because of a sore that would not heal on her foot. This means bad circulation in the foot. There are things that can be done to help increase the circulation.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If you are on Medicaid and your state has a family homecare program, you and your wife may qualify for it. Let me warn you about it though. If you and your wife own property or have insurance policies when you die every cent your wife was paid out by the state (Medicaid) will be recapped. Same as if you were to go into a nursing home and Medicaid demanded a 'spend-down' of your assets before they start paying the bills.

These caregiver programs are NOT FREE for people on Medicaid who own any property. If you have no assets, then more power to you because there will be nothing to recap.

Some other kinds of long-term care insurance allow a person to choose a private, independent, certified and licensed CNA to work for them. That person cannot be a family member though. I did private work like this for years. If you have the right kind of insurance look on a caregiver website. If you have no assets, inquire about your state having a paid, family homecare program.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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As a wife who took care of her late husband for over 24 years and never got "paid" to do it, nor did the thought ever enter my mind, as my vows said "in sickness and health, till death do us part," I find it odd when a wife or husband wants to be paid to care for their spouse.
But perhaps that's just me.
I guess you can always pay her out of your money, though technically it's already her money anyway, so that wouldn't make any sense. Or if you're already on Medicaid she can see if she would qualify to be paid by them, though they typically only approve a few hours per week if at all.
If your wife needs extra money then perhaps she should get a job outside of the home.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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BurntCaregiver Aug 8, 2024
@funky

No need for a sermon. What's wrong with a wife or husband getting paid to be a caregiver for their spouse if their state has a program for it and they qualify for it?

The family caregiver programs actually save Medicaid and in turn the taxpayer a fortune in costs because a person is kept home and out of a nursing home or memory care. What most family caregivers on these programs get paid in a week doesn't even cover the cost for their 'loved one' to be in a nursing home or memory care for a day.
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