I am a full time live in caregiver for both of my parents. It started with my dad recuperating from major surgery and then my mom started with vascular dementia from a stroke and diabetes as well as gastroperesis. I do not work outside the home and I know I need to get paid for the work I do. How do I get past feeling guilty for asking for money for taking care of them? I am depressed and overwhelmed and starting to have bouts of resentment toward my brother who does not help at all and even toward my parents.
You need to set up a contract for your parents to pay you a reasonable wage. Nothing to feel guilty about. Sometimes I feel guilty when I do not visit enough, but I would ot feel guilty about getting a reasonable wage.
And if you implement such a contract, don't forget to pay Social Security taxes on your income, as that may become important for your SS benefits when you become eligible. Also, if you have minimal other income, reporting the personal care income might make you eligible for health care insurance subsidies. Kudos to you for taking care of your parents.
Do yourself a favor and forget about bro helping. It will not happen on any sort of regular schedule. It only will cause you additional frustration and anxiety. Instead find a home elder care agency to come in to get yourself regular breaks. You will need it. And folks pay for that, not you.
And you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are making quite the sacrifice.